Comments on Two World Collision: Abandoned Friendship

Thanks, Eric, for pointing me to this post. It is...

2007-12-26T19:32:00.000-08:00

Thanks, Eric, for pointing me to this post. It is sad how we (and it is "we" for I am sure we have our areas where we do the same thing) make relationships so conditional. And most of us don't even know it!

I think you're right about people resorting back to what is comfortable rather than have their beliefs crumble. It is telling about the modern state of Christianity when people are too afraid to venture out in faith. This reminds me of my journey from conservative evangelicalism into a more postmodern mindset. Beliefs were falling all around and I didn't know what to do and many of my friends and co-ministers stepped back and pushed me away to keep their little world afloat.

Somewhere there are genuine people...

Grace man, grace!

Eric, I understand the feelings of loss. For years...

2007-10-28T06:30:00.000-07:00

Eric, I understand the feelings of loss. For years, my ministry activities and ministry brothers defined my life and friendships. When I found that their primary view of me was rescue, save and repair, it seemed to cheapen the memory of everything we had done together.

And then there are people who really are true, Christian friends - who share the joys and discoveries and pains and embarrassments in life. Last night, I was sharing with my str8 friend Nathan the "fun" of coming out late in life, and having things like "first dates" at 50 years old...

And I have to admit that most of the friends who have faded away have also been "nudged away" by distance, and time - not by my orientation. We are not in each others' lives - I am here in Ohio, they are there in Kansas. Our paths cross so rarely...The ones who have rejected me based on being gay have been few - but then the Lutherans have always been more middle of the road than most evangelicals on that topic.

The song that comes to mind as I re-read your post was Wayne Watson's A Season In Your Path...if you don't know it, email me and I'll send you the MP3.

Heard that friends are friends forever
But we don't talk much anymore
I guess that I’ve gone my way
And I guess that you've gone yours
Was kindness too neglected
On my list of deep regret?
In spite of distance unexpected
Can we forgive but not forget?

Sometimes I think about you
Some old memories make me cry
Remembering the good times makes me laugh
But all in all I'm richer
For the happy and the sad
And I'm thankful for a season in your path

I guess God alone deciphers
When people need each other most
Who will be the blessed receiver
And who will be the gracious host
And all a servant here can do
Is unto the Lord avail
Content at times to be the wind
And at times to be the sail

If another winter settles
On your shoulder down the road
Without a thought of what's behind us
Let me help you pull your load

Sometimes I think about you
Some old memories make me cry
Remembering the good times makes me laugh
But all in all I'm richer
For the happy and the sad
And I'm thankful for a season in your path...

Hugs across the miles, Eric.

Just know you have a straight/Christian friend (an...

2007-10-26T00:17:00.000-07:00

Just know you have a straight/Christian friend (and my family) in FL who will ALWAYS walk with you.

(((((Eric)))))) Love you hon.

Eric, I resonate with this somewhat as I had a fri...

2007-10-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

Eric, I resonate with this somewhat as I had a friend who was always very open minded and accepting, or so it seemed, who abandoned me after I came out. The only difference is that I came out as a struggler and he still abandoned me. However, most of my friends, even my Christian friends, have remained with me and for that I am grateful. Thanks for your honest sharing.

~Bill

The brutal honesty of your posts always impress me...

2007-10-21T21:47:00.000-07:00

The brutal honesty of your posts always impress me. They also inspire me to try an achieve a better authenticity with myself.

I'm truly sorry that your friend chose the ministry over you. How your journey made him wander away from you.

Thank you for sharing.
Howie

Eric, I find this posts to be painful because it r...

2007-10-21T18:30:00.000-07:00

Eric, I find this posts to be painful because it resonates with similar circumstances in my life. To find that a friend really saw me more as a ministry project to minister to and that our friendship was actually conditional wounded me deeply. Even today I feel leery of some friendships wondering where the breaking point might be.

Thank you for the integrity and the courage with which you dig into these issues. Thank you for revealing your heart.
-Peterson