Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Dad's Coming Home

So i've been looking forward to my dad coming in December. I had thought that he was going to be here for a month and i was excited about that because i was going to have him spend a weekend with me. He would most likely be staying at my brother's house in another city (about 60 miles from where i live). I'd have him over, have meals with him, take him to church with me, plus my buddy was even saying that we'll take him out with us - he was referring to a bar. Yeah, that'd be interesting.

Anyway, i'm excited to see him because i really want to spend more time with him. This is significant because for so many years we were so emotionally distant and I was bitter so seeing him before was never something i looked forward to. I want to talk with him about me being gay and i'm hoping he'll talk to me about him being gay. Perhaps, we'll even be able to talk about Jesus too . . . .

He's told me that he has started going to an Episcopal Church in Hawaii which is another clue that he actually is gay. Based on past "Jesus" conversations, he was always resistant to the whole "church" thing. So if he's going to a church now, it's probably because it's inclusive of gay people and he feels comfortable with it. This is all an assumption. That's why I want to have this talk. I want him to tell me if he's gay. I know, i won't ambush him or anything. I'll bring up me and hope that he feels comfortable enough to tell me about him. We'll see.

But the thing is - I found out last week before I left for the conference from my brother that my dad is thinking about moving here from Hawaii to Southern California. I'd like it if he lived close to me so that we can spend more time but my brother says he may help him find a place to live near his home because it's less expensive. Either way, i'm excited that he'll potentially be here longer than a month. He was last here this past February for my graduation - I got my bachelor's degree (finally) and I was class Valedictorian, graduated Summa Cum Laude (4.0 GPA), and I had the honor of giving the commencement speech, plus I was losing weight. I think he'll be proud of me for losing more weight, maintaining it, and staying fit.

He's getting older in years and we've been getting emotionally closer for the past three and a half years. I want to be able to have full reconciliation with him before he passes away. I know that sounds kinda morbid but many many years ago when it seemed like there was no hope of us reconciling, I asked God to bring us together - somehow. I didn't think it was possible. But now, it seems, that God has been answering that prayer.

God is so kewl! =)

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1 comment:

Mark said...

Not morbid at all, Eric. Speaking from experience after losing my dad, use the time you have.