No Pictures of Uncle Ray

It's been a crappy week. And I feel like running away.

There were several times at work when I would get choked up or I would start to tear. This Saturday is my uncle's funeral. I'll be seeing my family and I'll be missing the ECWR conference that I had been planning to go to.

I was realizing the other day that I don't have any pictures of my uncle. That made me sad because one of the reasons why I've always liked taking pictures of people in my life (as opposed to taking pictures of scenery or objects) is because I honestly don't know how long i'll be around this Earth. I've had that sense for many years now. So in a way, i've been wanting to photo document the people in my life - all the people I love and care about. Anyway, I realized that I had no pictures of my uncle and that made me cry . . . .

When I think about my uncle, I know that he's lived a long and full life. Most of my memories of him are with my aunt (his first wife) who just passed away a few years ago. They were married for a long time - at least over 50 years! Eventually, after her death, my uncle remarried someone else. It was actually kinda sweet and romantic. They met each other while learning to ballroom dance at the local community center. At a ripe old age - the two were in their mid-seventies - they got married.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day. I suppose that at that age, you kinda know and expect that some day the love of your life and lifetime companion will pass away. Can you imagine the heartache that would cause? So now, my uncle falls in love twice and chooses to get married again. That's kind of sad yet courageous because there's a very strong possibility that the person he fell in love with will die - again. I don't know if I can do that twice - to fall in love only to see them die.

So anyway, I respect my uncle for doing that. He must have known that life was too short - or rather, he knew that he didn't have many more years left. He took the risk of being hurt and allowed himself to fall in love again and to get remarried. He was happy.

I'd like to be happy.

Besides all of the emotional energy that grieving requires, there's all kinds of other stuff going on in my life that makes me just want to leave town. Literally. I'm thinking about taking the day off from work on Friday and going away somewhere. I could be back in time for the funeral. I'm not sure if i'll actually take the day off, but I really would like some down time.