Thursday, August 16, 2007

Catching Up On Recent Events

It may have been over two weeks since my last post but that doesn't mean life has been uneventful.

With so much going on, I haven't had the time to sit and process my thoughts. It usually takes about 2-3 hours to write a blog post about something I'm really chewing on. But the thing is, I've been chewing on about 5 things that I could write about - all in separate posts. I hate to just write updates about my life (as if that's anything to follow) but perhaps sharing with you about things that I'm doing or am involved with will help paint the broader picture of my journey to date . . . .

At the end of July, I witnessed for the first time my dad cry in front of me. His brother (my uncle) died and we were burying him. His sister (my aunt) fainted during the funeral and the paramedics came out. These were his only siblings for all his life. My dad's twin sister died when they were young in the Philippines during the war when a bomb landed on the house. Now, with my uncle having passed away, it's just he and his sister. My relationship with my dad growing up was pretty emotionless. We're better now, now that we both came out to each other. But still, seeing my dad vulnerable like that was heart-wrenching. I'm sure this all makes him consider his own mortality too. It makes me consider my dad's mortality.

The busyness of my life and the constant connecting with friends has made the grieving process short. For the past several months, I've been intentional about catalyzing the regional Southern California Gay Christian Network (SoCal GCN) community. I've accepted the role as the region's group leader and facilitator and so I've been working to help build a tangible sense of community among them in local areas throughout the region. I'll write more about this later.

In a nutshell, in the last four weeks alone, I helped facilitate opportunities for people to connect in gatherings, events, and activities at Downtown Disney for over 20 people; a bonfire at Newport Beach for over 50 people; dinner gatherings of 7-20 people each at Long Beach, San Diego, Hollywood, Los Angeles, Universal City Walk, Redondo Beach and Mission Viejo; hanging out one on one or as a small group at Oxnard, Huntington Beach, Laguna Beach, Pasadena, El Segundo, Culver City, Cerritos, and Woodland Hills. I've literally driven all over Southern California! I'm hoping to show you a bunch of pics in another post this weekend.

I've gone on a couple of dates with guys that didn't seem to be a match. I've also had a crush or two that weren't mutual. Most recently, I've been "hanging out" with someone who seems to really peak my interest. The exciting part is that it's mutual. We've communicated romantic interest in each other! We'll see how it goes but we're just taking things slow and one step at a time. We're getting to know one another and we're discovering that we connect on many subjects and many levels. He makes me smile inside.

The work place drama, infighting, and internal politics at my job (not my non-profit) have intensified. People are still trying to get others fired. Board of Directors are suing each other and cussing at each other. We were in the newspaper numerous times. I work in a hostile work climate. My boss seems clueless as to the actual climate of the office. I tried to give him feedback by telling him what the climate was like and he responded with a sense of denial. He says that nothing could possibly be wrong because our office has produced so much this summer. He forgets the fact that we produced so much because I'm the one he tasked to do all of these special projects in the midst of the craziness. Our productivity has nothing to do with the work climate. Of anything, it just shows that I was able to complete these projects despite the hostile work climate. But in his eyes, everything is simply peachy. I've also been working event logistics on a mini-conference that's happening tomorrow (Saturday). That means its going to be crazy busy over the next two days at work. I've been avoiding overtime, when possible, because I so much look forward to my weeknight and weekend social life away from work. But I may be going in to work this morning at 5am or 6am (goodness that just in a few hours from now) and I may be staying late until 6pm or 7pm. I haven't decided for sure but this will be my last work day before Saturday's big event. Sigh.

Through Catalyst (my non-profit), i'm working with a few other organizations on an HIV/AIDS Collaborative and we'll be working together to explore how we can serve the needs of the HIV/AIDS population here in Long Beach. We're only at the very preliminary planning stages so we'll see how this develops. The interesting thing is that this is the first collaboration that I'm doing with my old first non-profit that I co-founded 5 years ago. This is the same one that I left in 2006 because of the whole "gay issue". Read more about what happened in "For the Kingdom and For the Baby". It's weird to see this organization (that I still love) do so well - without me being a part of shaping its direction. The Collaborative meeting was held in my old organization's office so it was quite uncomfortable. But I know that we're working together on something important and I know we'll make a difference. The other thing is that I know that our collaborating efforts will stir things in the Hot Zone. Despite our shared value that what we're doing is NOT a gay or straight thing, it will be inevitable. But at least it will stir discussion within the Church in our city.

A sad/frustrating piece of current event to share is that the same night that we met for this Collaborative, when I got back to my car at 10:30pm I discovered that my car had been broken into. They used a slim jim to get in through my driver's side door. The only things they took seemed to be items relating to my identity. They took my DMV car registration, my car insurance card and my health benefits card - all of which were held together in the glove compartment. They also stole my new portable GPS which I got specifically for my upcoming road trip next week (I'll post about that soon too!). I had to take time off of work to go to the police station early in the morning to file a police report, then also go to the DMV to get a new car registration card. Plus, I spent time on the phone doing all the identity theft/fraud prevention measures.

Oh well. As with the passing of my uncle, I've had too much going on to really dwell on uncontrollable circumstances. I've just been moving forward and perhaps i'll grieve later. I hope that doesn't screw me up.

So much more to share so stay tuned....


Marcus said...

Perhaps you should change your blog space to Multi World Collision! It seems you have much going on my friend! Continue your journey with peace and love! Blessings my friend,


Howie said...

Wow…. Vacation gives you time to think, doesn’t it.

Besides feeling sorry for you, I wont comment on your experiences, as other people to that way better than me

I do however, have to comment to the jealous BF type, as they are a funny breed.

A few years back when I lived in Hamburg, I was hanging out with two other people a lot. Another guy, Eirik and a girl Fia.

At one stage Fia got this jealous BF, the pilot. He couldn’t understand why Fia couldn’t get some female friends to hang out with instead of us two. His non-verbal communication when we were around made is also clear that he didn’t care to much for our company…. That relationship didn’t last long, or as Eirik and I like to say it: we just had to break up with him!

I'm not sure if this was reasurring, or made things just worse.

Take care, and enjoy the rest of your vacation, and smile to that cute Flight attendant when you fly back!