Wednesday, October 11, 2006

What's Your Story?

You've read about me. How about you?

Today is National Coming Out Day! If you are not out of the closet yet, how about opening the door of it a bit.

What's your story? You can say your name or just remain anonymous but post a comment and tell me a little about your story. What keeps you coming to Two World Collision? What's it like for you to be in the closet? What's it like for you to wonder if you are gay or not? Are your worlds in collision or have you found cohesion? Do you have a blog? Give us a link so that we can check it out! Are you straight and have gay friends? What's it like with your other straight friends?

Take a risk - a small step towards allowing yourself to be known. Tell me about you!


Unknown said...

I want out. I want out so bad. Yet I am terrified. I question and wonder and try to journey, but I am mostly just worn out. Even if the closet door swung open, I don't honestly feel like I would survive the trip out the door.

I think a lot of people would hate me; after all, I don't even like myself all that much.

Tell me it gets better.

Peterson Toscano said...

journeyman, your fears are genuine; some people may hate and reject you, maybe even people who feel essential to you right now. But then they are only loving you conditionally.

Coming out is a test for all of the people in our lives, for our churches, families, friends. It is the test to see what they will do with the outsider among them.

I have been surprised by the number of people who quickly became my ally once they heard of the pain and suffering I experienced in the closet. The key was they love ME and not just parts of me.

Coming out can be incredibly challenging and requires that we have a good support structure in place in case the bottom falls out.

Yes, things get better, we feel stronger, clearer, more solid when we live in integrity. And we often discover who are our truest friends.

Blessings on your journey.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...I'll try to keep this short... I'm considering starting my own blog but what do i have to say? As for now...this will do...

I was born the only boy in the family...child #6 after 5 girls...Whew, talk about pressure to be straight! And that was what I heard a lot growing up-that I'm the only one to carry on the family name. And now I don't want kids...I'm not even gonna adopt.

I guess I started having attractions to the male anatomy as early as 9 years old. And by age 12 I was seriously checking out the JC Penny and KMart Catalogues for the men's underwear ads which were a big turn on to me. I tried to rationalize it... That I was just curious about the male anatomy and not the female anatomy having older sisters... whom I even showered with as we were getting ready for school in the morning. I never even saw my dad naked so I kept thinking that I was just curious. Or that it was just a phase.

My first gay kiss happened when I was about 24. A female friend of mine was having boy troubles coz her ex was visiting from out of town but she was interested in a new guy... so my job was distracting the ex boyfriend... I took him out for a walk around the city and talked about different stuff. Then it began to feel like it was a date. We joked about who's stronger and who could kick the other one's butt in a fist fight... and it got was fun... i was losing...we were laughing...breathing the same air...then the kiss happened. But I was still telling myself that I was straight.

I even had girlfriends (believe it or not). It was my beautiful blonde girlfriend (who was bisexual btw) that told me it was ok to be bisexual or even gay. Well one time...she brought in a third for us... a guy. Another friend of mine who kept saying he wasn't gay but if he was forced to sleep with a guy...he'd choose me. (Weirdness there)

So from then on I admitted to myself that I was gay... but I had to move somewhere far where no one knew me to really pursue this. But I was still struggling with it... a few years earlier I converted from being a Catholic to a born-again Christian... I was water baptised... I spoke in tongues... I lead the worship... so how can I be gay?

I kinda joked to myself that I still had a personal relationship with Jesus... But it was kinda like the best friend that you had a big fight love them but you're not talking right now. That's where I was. So I pursued my gay life...dated guys...had boyfriends and finally found the love of my life.

It was an episode of ER that woke me up to the fact that God still loved me... the gay me. A lesbian character from the story was telling her birth-mother who was a bible-thumper, something like...
"Why can't you have enough faith in your God to accept that He knew exactly what He was doing when He created me?" And from then on...
I was back. Still strugling...still have issues. But I was back... and Jesus? Well He's been with me all along...even when I turned my back on Him.

Hopefully...if i do end up putting up my own blog...I'll expand on it more. For now...Thanks for reading...and sorry if I took your time... :-) God Bless!!!

Nuka said...

I came out at a famliy gathering because I was tired of hearing my siblings use the word gay as an insult. Ends up my grandma is gay too! Who knew? :)