Thursday, August 18, 2005

A Night with the Ladies

I love lesbians. Seriously. Some of them can be so much fun! Especially the ladies at The Tab! I spent the evening with about 15 women (more mature in age than I) and I just had a blast. (There was one other guy among us). My cheeks still hurt from smiling and laughing. Way fun!

A friend's daughter was in a six week summer youth program that prepared kids and teenagers for a broadway show (which was tonight). She's 11 years old and I love her! She comes with her mom to our weekly small group and she is very much a part of the fellowship. We all came to support her.

The show was fantastic. The kids were so cute - singing and dancing broadway tunes, acting and doing their thing. I was so impressed. I ought to go to more broadway shows. They're fun! After the show, it was evident that all the kids and teens really established a great camaraderie with each other by the way they all supported and applauded each other as everyone was introduced by name and honored with a certificate. I decided that I want my kids to do this too! (er - that is, Lord willing, when I have kids).

It's fascinating to me watching my friend's daughter. She is very mature for her age. She laughs with such joy. In small group she shares prayer requests. She prays regularly for others. She reconciles with those she has disagreements with. She recognizes genuine and sincere people (her age) and chooses her friends wisely. She is down to earth and approachable both to her peers and to adults. She apologizes to those she wrongs. She's respectful. It's apparent that she was raised well - and i told my friend this tonight. Oh yeah, one more thing....she's being raised by two lesbians. My friend has a "partner" and they are in a committed relationship.

Is it wrong for gay or lesbian couples to raise children together? I've seen incredibly happy families - especially this particular one. My friend and her partner are wonderful women who both love God. The daughter loves God as well. She likes boys and is encouraged in every way to be good and responsible - but never is she discouraged from liking boys in general. I know of some Christians that have the assumption that gay parents consciously influence the preference of the children so that they are raised to be gay. That's so not true! Gay or lesbian parents recognize that no one can be told how or who to be attracted to - and so the children of such parents are accepted regardless of what their preference is. I am, of course, only speaking about the gay or lesbian parents that I have met and know (i can't speak generally).

Another new friend tonight announced that she's pregnant with child. She also has a lesbian partner. Perhaps a few years ago, I would have been concerned for the child - having to be raised in a homosexual environment. That was pretty arrogant of me. These women are a community. They support each other. They are happy together. They worship and pray with each other. They love each other.

I'm not so concerned for the children of gay or lesbian parents anymore.


Ron said...


Very interesting post. I just posted a question that had a similar theme, and would love to hear your thoughts on it. I am confident that you will keep an open mind, as always!

Mark said...

All good parents have one thing in common: they want the best for their children.

I've a first cousin (the other pink sheep in the family) who, along with her partner of 20+ years, have raised two sons. I know lots of gay men here in Houston who are tickled pink to be fathers and who tackle the role conscientously.

My guess is that gay and lesbian parents are probably more conscientious in parenting because they have to slog through more obstacles and lack of social affirmation to *be* parents.

I'm aware of studies that have shown that children of same-sex parent households fare just as well as children from opposite-sex parent households.

Eric said...

Thanks Ron. Yes, even spending time with fellow believers doesn't take the place of the incomparably vital time spent with Jesus - waiting, watching, and worshipping Him alone.

Bless you!

Ron said...


Thank you for those words on your post. I had to think about it again myself - "I can exist but I cannot live." What are we doing with our lives? When we try to satisfy ourselves, are we existing or living? When self gratification takes top priority, are we existing or living? Was David existing or living when he slept with Bethsheba? It truly is a powerful point to meditate upon.

JJ said...

I used to think that it would be wrong for a gay couple to have children too... but I'm not sure anymore... I guess if you've read my blog you know I'm not sure of much right now. I know that for a gay couple to have kids, they would have to go out of their way usually, which means that they will treasure their children even more, and that can't be anything but good!

Eric said...

thanks for your comments Ron. I just wanted to make one distinction.

Being gay isn't about sexual gratification any more than being straight is about sexual gratification.

I agree with your comments in the context that lust is wrong. However, being gay and lust are not synonomous. As this particular post describes, these women who are also lesbian had a wonderful and fun night of support, fellowship, prayer, and honoring God that had nothing to do with lust and sex.

It's a side of gay Christians that some straight Christians who operate with that false assumption don't often allow themselves to see.

Eric said...

thanks Karl, feel free to help tell America about it! =)

Anonymous said...

I think as long as a child is in a loving home--be it straight, gay, single parent, disabled, whatever--that's a good thing :)

I didn't used to really "get it" until I started reading another blog (Waiting for Nat, on my blogroll). But man, I cried with joy when they adopted their daughter!

Mike said...

interesting post.... its funny how no one will come back to what God's word says or even brush it aside and come up with the same excuse "did God really mean that?" You gotta accept the whole word. Don't water it down. Don't compromise the purity of the word.

Another thing, its Good to be praying. Its one thing to pray, its another thing for God to be listening.

People will say "God loves and thats enough". Yeah God is love but it don't mean it gives you a licence to do what you want. Thats greesy grace. I wonder if any homosexual christians can actually say that they chase after purity and righteousness. I wonder if they can look God in the face without shame and embarassment. God is HOLY and RIGHTEOUS! Don't forget what happened to Sodom & Gommorah. What makes it so different to today. This is a Sodom & Gomorah generation. God is looking for a people who are Holy & Righteous and who will say "Talk to the Hand" to sin and all crap and chase after the fathers heart. God wants an intimate relationship with His children.

Sin Seperates us from God and to not count homosexual relationships in that boat is crazy! Yep we're against porn, filth, and other crap but not Homosexuality! - Can you believe thats how some Christians think?

I want this to be a place where God dwells. I know what offends the father so deeply - Its Sin!

Eric said...


I appreciate your comments. Yes there are Christians who are homosexual who are committed to purity and righteousness. In fact, i'm meeting with a group of them tonight. The fact that you've never met them, does that mean that they don't exist?

Asking the question "Did God really mean that?" isn't brushing aside or watering down the Word. I believe the Bible to be God's infallible and inspired Word.

The issue is that i'm questioning people's interpretation of the Word. Especially when an obvious bias is present in the one 'studying', it can taint our understanding.

Those who are on the side of saying that all homosexual acts are a sin can be tainted with the bias of the historical stigma of being homosexual - just as there once was a stigma against being black or a woman. Those who are on the side of saying that it's okay to be gay and Christian can be tainted with the bias of being marginalized and feeling inclined towards justice.

It's not God or His Word that's in question. It's people with all of their baggage.

So, with the premise that God reveals Himself through His Word, our task is to take a step back, leave our previously taught positions and assumptions about the issue aside, then study God's Word in whole with completely objective eyes, then reassess our interpretation of Scripture regarding homosexuality. We may come full circle and have strengthened our own beliefs about it, or we may change what we previously believed about the issue because God gave us greater understanding into His Word.

But just because YOU or anyone SAYS that it's a sin because that's what you conclude after reading Scripture DOESN'T mean that it is. Jesus is Truth - you are not. He is infallible. You are.

There's nothing wrong with disagreement. There are people in the Church who are conservative. There are people in the Church who are liberal. Some people are so quick to answer questions and so afraid of questioning previously held answers that they limit themselves from growing in understanding.

I think it's arrogance and pride of people who can't see outside the box nor the bigger picture of God's intent. The pharisees believed with conviction that it was a sin to work on the Sabbath. Jesus was the ultimate example of one who questioned people like this.

David Wiens said...

Not that this necessarily proves anything (although it is compelling)... the American Psychological Association has a summary of some 3 decades of research indicating that children with gay parents undergo more or less the same sexual and social developmental processes. So much for the argument that kids of gay couples are more likely to be screwed up.

Anonymous said...

Eric, I have to say that I am in AWE of your response to that comment.

There are so many "laws" that many Christians want to overlook, and simply focus on one tiny segment that had a historical context we can't identify with. Just like slavery, misogeny, racial was all acceptable to some Christians at various times in history. But that doesn't mean it IS ok.

You ROCK and your faith ROCKS. Thank you for such insight.

JJ said...

its funny how no one will come back to what God's word says or even brush it aside and come up with the same excuse "did God really mean that?" You gotta accept the whole word. Don't water it down. Don't compromise the purity of the word.

I don't think questioning people's interpretations of Scripture compromises the purity of the Word at all. Remember when Galileo was kicked out of the church for saying that the earth revolved around the sun, not the other way around as Scripture indicated? Remember when Christians used the Bible to justify slavery? condemn interracial marriage?

I remember sitting in class when I was 13 and going to a private Christian school, where I was one of only 2 black students, listening the teacher use the story of Noah to explain why black people have been subject to white people. People are fallable, and have often used the Bible to support their own world views, instead of letting the Bible shape and form these views.

I think it's absolutey essential that each person look at the Bible for themselves. Not that I think it's a relative Gospel, or that we should ignore the traditions of the Church...but the Church has been wrong in the past