Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Questioning The Answers

Being objective is harder than i thought. Especially when I want to conclude that committed, covenantal, monogamous, and loving gay relationships are not a sin. I know I've got alot of questions .... questions that i pose in this blog as well as in conversations with new and old friends. I'm realizing, however, that the thing that is causing me to grow the most - yes, even causing me to grow closer to Christ - is the journey of asking these questions and not in the revelation of answers.

I'm sure the answers will come. God will grant me understanding in His full timing. But it's in questioning the answers I previously held dear that has allowed me to go down this road. At first, i was scared to go down this path of what seemed like a "crisis of faith" (it sometimes still scares me), but i'm not as afraid because i don't view it as a crisis - i see it as a "coming of faith". I believe that this journey of seeking the Lord's heart and intent for me, as well as seeking the Lord's Truth, is the very thing that will strengthen my faith.

Brandon hosts an awesome blog called BadChristian.Com. His most recent post talks about these very things - explaining why he started his blog and why it's called "Bad Christian". I encourage all of you to make your way there. It's not a "gay-themed" blog per se, but his process for thinking about "the Church" as a whole and the things we do as "local churches" is incredibly refreshing. Reading today's post helped make things a little more clear about my own process and journey of asking questions.

A few days ago, I had the blessing of speaking to Justin, the Executive Director and Founder of GCN - Gay Christian Network, on the phone. He believes that committed gay relationships are not a sin. I've found GCN to be balanced with a whole community of people with differing views - some who believe as Justin does, others who believe that we should be celibate (see The Great Debate here), and yet others who simply don't know.

I just read and took notes from an essay that Justin wrote that supports his position. Next I will read and take notes from an essay that Ron wrote that supports the position of celibacy for homosexuals. I'm going to start analyzing each side (in addition to utilizing the other resources i've discovered) while praying through each point for myself and so you will most likely see my process through this on this blog from time to time.

As I said, being objective is harder than I thought. I've read Justin's position and he makes so many awesome points. And I want it to be right. But I know that Ron will also make some awesome points as well. In fact, analyzing both sides like this will most likely drive me crazy from a myriad of great points and ideas and prooftexts supporting both sides. However, as Justin advised me on the phone, I need to study and pray through this on my own. And as Brandon suggests in his blog, I need to question the answers - even if they are the answers that I want to hear.

My hope is that in this process and journey, I can find peace in this conflict where my two worlds collide.


Anonymous said...

Your process is so fantastic, dude. I really, really admire you for the way you're going about it. Whatever side you come out on, I know God is smiling on you. :)


Brandon said...

Heya Eric,

I found your URL on GCN and followed through. I'm really enjoying your blog, man.

I really admire how you're going about all of this. A lot of people will just accept easy answers that fit what they want to hear. Not too many people will do the hard work of actually seeking the truth.

No matter where you land on the issue, I know you're going to come away with the confidence of knowing you didn't just blindly accept what someone else told you.

Mark said...

Michael Card penned the words in "This Present Reality", "Could it be that questions tell us more than answers ever do?"

I've found that in my faith journey, the older I get, the less certain I become of certain things and the more important the dialog becomes around questions and experience.

Blessings on your journey. No matter where you end up on the "issue", nothing can separate you from the love of Christ and I find that pretty comforting and cool.

Ron said...

Good Morning Eric,

As always, your honesty is refreshing. I believe the fact that you do not have answers is a blessing in itself. Stop by my blog this morning and read the comments today. I pray that they will be a blessing to you! Please let me know your thoughts, too.

Anonymous said...

You have some great ideas here, and I agree that sometimes the journey itself brings one closer to God. In any event, I'd like to share the verse that always encourages me when dealing with spiritual controversies.

1 Corinthians 13:11

When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.