Friday, September 09, 2005

Oh Yeah! Dial Up!

So I've been in my new apartment a week. The DSL modem should be on its way and i've been frantically (i mean patiently) waiting for it to arrive. In the mean time, I was trying to use neighboring wireless signals which proved ineffective. No Internet. Withdrawal symptoms setting in. Shaking and convulsions begin. Then, an epiphany.

Dial up.

What the - ? I feel so silly. I completely forgot that since I have AOL (but rarely use it), I can get online via dial up! I could have been online this whole time! So i plugged in the phone line into my lap top - having disconnected it from my TiVo Series 2 - and dusted off (i mean started up) my AOL. Then i heard that weird but familiar sound of so long ago - the screeching and beeping of the dial up modem. No offense to any "die hard" dial up users (loyalty is everything) - but it felt like relearning how to ride a bike or using my hands for turn signals when driving or watching a movie on VHS! Jeesh! Technology these days.

Okay, not exactly on topic to the blog. Gay and Christian. Right. I'm back. Actually, i prefer the term (if i'm going to use a label) "Christ-Centered Gay" person - i thought about "Christ-Centered Homosexual" but that sounds way too strong for me. The word "homosexual" has alot of baggage attached to it - in our society that is.

So i started telling a few straight friends from my "old" house church about The Tab (the gay-friendly church) and telling them pieces about this journey I'm on. I've received different reactions. I have one particular guy friend and told him today what I've been doing and I couldn't help but feel a bit pre-judged. I know he doesn't know the entire process i've been going through in my head, heart, and spirit but I still felt that sense of "worry" for me. That "concern" that I could possibly be going down the "wrong" path. Don't get me wrong - we're good friends nonetheless - but I'm beginning to realize more and more how arrogant I used to be when I assumed "being gay" was a sin simply because that's the only thing I was taught and exposed to. I haven't "decided" anything. But now that i'm on "this end" of the judgment, I realize how unloving that attitude can be. (I'm not saying that anyone who believes that it's a sin is arrogant - not at all. Rather, i'm saying that it was "my" arrogance that led me to "lovingly condemn" all homosexuals without respecting them (us) enough to get to know them, learn about their perspective, and witness their Christ-centeredness).

I've been processing alot about the phrase "love the sinner but hate the sin". I'll probably articulate that in the next post. Hopefully, by then, I'll be on high-speed Internet again.


Mark said...

Unfortunately, all the labels have freight. Using "homosexual" is like calling an african-american "negro". "Gay" raises connotations of a clubbing/circuit-party lifestyle. "Queer" has political overtones. There are terms like "Same Gender/Sex Attracted" (sga/ssa) but they're typically used in contexts of bridging discussion and aren't generally known.

JJ said...

I think "love the sinner, hate the sin" is a cliche, but I think it kind of works in most cases, but for some reason it doesn't translate well when it comes to gay people.

I think some of the problem lies in the languate... you know, you commit adultery, but you are a homosexual. This idea that many conservative Christians have that we are sinning simply by being.

Anonymous said...

I'm extremely curious what you come up with on the "Love the sinner, hate the sin" concept.