This is a letter written to me by Pat who recently joined our other TWC site - Two World Collision Collaborative Christian Community. That's a place for both gay and straight "Journey Christians" to walk with each other beyond the Side A/Side B/Side X framework.
Pat is a straight gal on a journey through this issue and she shares three lessons that she has learned for herself so far. She gave me permission to share her letter with everyone here. Thanks Pat!
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Hi there, I'll update my profile later, for now I'll introduce myself a little:
I am a Mexican Catholic straight girl who came to this whole hot zone discussion by complete accident: to make a long story short I stumbled upon Andrew Sullivan's blog, felt totally immersed by it and felt really curious that he was both Catholic and Gay (go figure, I didn't know that was possible) ... fast forward 40 days (I am a little obsessive person) and now I know about "reparative therapy" the damages of reparative therapy, the possible biological link to homosexuality, gay sheep, marriage laws in the states, anti-gay propaganda, gay parents, gay struggle, gay kids suicide rate, bible passages, etc.
Names that only yesterday meant nothing to me like "Nicolosi", "Alan Chambers" and "Jon Cameron" or "Mel White", "Boswell" and "Mychal Judge" ring bells for me now, whether for disapproval or approval.
I have become an avid reader of Box Turtle Bulletin, Warren Throckmorton, Gay Christian Network, Ex Gay Watch, The Marin Foundation and, of course, your blog.
Through this journey I have learned three things so far:
First Lesson: That we all as Christians have a VERY big obligation to the Truth. If the first commandment is to love, I would say that the second commandment is to restlessly pursue the truth, no matter where the truth takes us. We cannot get comfortable by "just knowing". When we don't actually know, we must investigate, look, knock, ask, call. Every truth comes from the Holy Spirit, and I dare say that no matter WHO says something (a church, a president, a reverend, a priest or even, gulp, the Pope), if we find out that what is being said is false, then that is not possibly coming from the Holy Spirit.
Second Lesson: I am convinced now that being gay is not a choice, and since it is not a choice, it cannot be (substantially at least) changed. And all our following judgments about the question should take that as a premise.
Third Lesson: A constant I have found with all the anti-gay propagandists is that they lie. I'm not talking about what they believe, I am talking about plain and simple ignorance or distortion of the facts. The bare facts. So that makes them really suspect in my book. The other thing is that they are usually very very spiteful people.
So that's it, I don't know where this journey will further take me, I know that I want to do something, but I don't know what exactly. So joining this network is a start, I guess.
Pray for me! And congratulations on your courage! (great web design by the way!)
love,
Pat.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Green Long Beach! Festival 2009
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Happy Earth Day everyone!In recognition of all things "green", I thought I'd write a post today on the Green Long Beach! Festival. This will be Catalyst's first big city-wide event as we co-host the festival. I've been serving as the Logistics Coordinator and it's been keeping me quite occupied! But I'm having a blast and I'm working with a terrific team!
Check us out at www.greenLB.org!
Tweet with us at http://twitter.com/greenlb!
Find us on Facebook here!
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Disrespectful But With a Smile
I'm just gonna say this upfront - I reserve the right to vent on my own blog.
That said . . . . what the frickin' hell!?
I'm serious! I mean, really, how in the world can straight "professing Christians" smile with arrogance and then slap me in the face and think that they are doing the Lord's "good work"? I probably shouldn't say "Christians" because some of the people there were cool. It's more like this particular pastor of A Village Community here in Long Beach.
I literally wiped my feet on the mat, not before entering this "house of worship" but rather AS I LEFT this place.
"If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town." - Matthew 10:14
All through the service I kept mentally shaking my head at the things I was hearing . . . .
The whole service was about asking questions. People were asked to text message their questions. The pastor even started off with talking about "us having a conversation with each other." But instead of a discussion about the value of having questions or that we sometimes ask the wrong questions or what are the right kind of questions or at the very least having a discussion about the question - like I suppose I was expecting from this kind of a topic - instead, the pastor read off a question, answered it himself, then read off another question, then answered it himself, then read off another question, then answered it himself.....blah blah blah.
I mean seriously, who does he think he is that he's got all the answers according to his worldview?
And here's the kicker. After reading off a question that said, 'Does God love believers more than He does unbelievers?' he arrogantly and resolutely "ANSWERED" with an emphatic "YES".
Seriously. He said that there is scriptural evidence to suggest that God chooses some and does not choose others and that He loves some and does not love others. Seriously.
Now, yes, there's context to this whole thing. But that's still the bottom line of what he was saying. And I'm not saying that I don't believe in a distinction between "God's people". I understand that as well as the "setting apart" of them. But in this discussion about "questions" I was absolutely dumbfounded that it didn't even occur to this pastor or anyone else that perhaps that was the WRONG question to ask. I mean, really, do you really want to talk about how God loves some people but not other people? Was that the "message from God" for today?
It didn't even occur to him that perhaps the better question to ask instead of 'Does God love believers MORE than He does unbelivers?' but rather would have been better to ask 'How does God want me to love both believers AND unbelievers?' That would have been a question God would answer. I mean, how many times did Jesus NOT answer a stupid question? SO MANY times! Why? Because people asked the wrong question.
But no. Instead of reframing the question, he stayed on that direction to go on and on about God's sovereignty to love whomever He chooses and to NOT love whomever He chooses. Why, did this pastor say? So that the ones He chooses to love could FULLY APPRECIATE the love. So that the ones He chooses to love could see the contrast. Seriously. He spoke about an exclusive love. No empathy or compassion for those outside of God's love. Just that those whom God chooses to love should appreciate being chosen.
I also wondered why the pastor wasn't coming up to me to shake my hand or welcome me during the entire service - particularly since there was literally 12 people in the room and there was a 'say hello to your neighbor' time and also two times where everyone broke up into tiny groups to discuss stuff. There were times when he could have said hello. I wondered if he recognized me because we had met once or twice YEARS ago while I was with that faith-based non-profit that I co-founded. But maybe he didn't recognize me. Yet still he chose not to greet or welcome the obvious ONLY newcomer.
At the close of the service, he prayed a prayer of just accepting truth in faith. Um, the truth that HE just presented? Without question? Without doubt? The prayer was to accept it even when it was hard to accept. His answers. His truth. His interpretation. His worldview. I seriously thought this, but during the prayer it really felt like it was a brainwashing. But this wasn't a cult out in some remote ranch. This was a church just like most in the city.
So then after the service when everything was done and over with, he walked up to me saying my name, 'Eric, you remember we met before.' And I was completely friendly and saying that it was good to see him and he asked a couple probing questions about what I was doing now. I told him about Catalyst Community and I told him about the Green Long Beach! Festival and that some from his church were having a booth and selling T-shirts. I told him about some of the good things we're doing in the community. I didn't say anything gay-related.
He wasn't interested in what I was doing now though. He wanted to probe because he had thought I was a pastor. I told him that I encouraged some communities of gay Christians to feel supported because there are so many that want to worship but are being rejected out of their own congregations. But no I said I wasn't a pastor. And in that context of conversation, he began to say what he really wanted to say which was that he wanted to make it CLEAR that they were not an "affirming" congregation.
(And in my head, I'm thinking why is this relevant? I didn't bring up the gay thing, he did. And if he didn't know me before this, he wouldn't have even known that I was gay.)
Really? I'm here visiting your church and was actually looking for a place to start going to regularly and the welcome sales pitch is to make it CLEAR that they were not a place that thinks "gay" is okay. Really? And after me telling you that there are SO MANY CHRISTIANS who are gay that WANT TO WORSHIP JESUS but are being REJECTED out of their OWN CONGREGATIONS, you feel it necessary to talk about the gay pride parade and how there are churches in the parade that are affirming of "the lifestyle" and there are churches on the side that are holding picket signs and yelling "burn," and you want to tell me that your church represents "neither" but that you want to make it CLEAR that "we are not affirming"? Really? That's what you want to tell me?
And after saying these things to me, he started saying with a smile, "That's my main concern. I wanted to make that clear." After he said that a couple times, I thought it was odd. It seemed out of context. So I inquired, "wait, sooooo, what's your CONCERN?" I asked genuinely with a 'I don't get it' tone. I wasn't saying anything about anything gay regarding me and this congregation. And he said, "well the festival. If we're going to have a booth, I wanted to make it CLEAR that we're not affirming." So I was like, "but the festival is a GREEN festival. You know, GREEN as in, the environment? The festival is about encouraging people about sustainability and how to use energy efficiently and to talk about recycling." And he was like, "oh."
"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." Ezekiel 16:49
Who's the Sodomite?
So now as I think back to the lack of welcome and the lack of eye contact and the messages that God loves the believer and NOT the unbeliever and the closing prayer to accept the truth and the intentional effort to make it CLEAR (his words) that they were not an affirming church . . . . I get the sense that it was all because he did recognize me right from the beginning. Remember, there were only 12 people present. I was clearly the newcomer.
After he realized that I was helping to organize logistics for a GREEN festival, he said his goodbyes to me, stepped back and away to assemble his post-church service meeting (which was actually a debrief of their 'outreach project').
I said my friendly goodbyes to the folks I met, started shaking my head and wiped my feet at the front door as I LEFT them.
What a freakin' arrogant hypocrite.
So I drove home just pissed and angry and mad at how disrespectful he was but with a smile. I'm SURE he has NO CLUE as to how offensive he was. And I'm SURE he has NO CLUE as to how he hurt me and his own witness.
By the time I got home, still mad, the first thing I saw when I turned on the television was the ending speech from Sigourney Weaver in "Prayers For Bobby" (see below) and by the time she hugged her son/that kid at the side of the parade I was literally balling my eyes out just crying like really really heavy tears.
I mean, seriously, why can't I just go to a church service with other people that love Jesus and not leave feeling worse than I did when I arrived? (And no, maybe I don't want to always go to a church where the congregation are mostly gay.)
As far as I've gone on this journey, I'm still surprised at how this still affects me the way it does. I still take it very personally, the Church's rejection of gay people, because my own story of suicide is very real and relevant to me. And I was the one who gave THEM a chance. I freakin' allowed myself, yet one more time, to go into a place knowing that these freakin' Christians might freakin' hurt me freakin' again. AGAIN! It still affects me profoundly and as strong as I think I am, they still freakin' make me cry every time.
Damn it.
Break the cycle of hurt. Go to www.TwoWorldCollision.com.
That said . . . . what the frickin' hell!?
I'm serious! I mean, really, how in the world can straight "professing Christians" smile with arrogance and then slap me in the face and think that they are doing the Lord's "good work"? I probably shouldn't say "Christians" because some of the people there were cool. It's more like this particular pastor of A Village Community here in Long Beach.
I literally wiped my feet on the mat, not before entering this "house of worship" but rather AS I LEFT this place.
"If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town." - Matthew 10:14
All through the service I kept mentally shaking my head at the things I was hearing . . . .
The whole service was about asking questions. People were asked to text message their questions. The pastor even started off with talking about "us having a conversation with each other." But instead of a discussion about the value of having questions or that we sometimes ask the wrong questions or what are the right kind of questions or at the very least having a discussion about the question - like I suppose I was expecting from this kind of a topic - instead, the pastor read off a question, answered it himself, then read off another question, then answered it himself, then read off another question, then answered it himself.....blah blah blah.
I mean seriously, who does he think he is that he's got all the answers according to his worldview?
And here's the kicker. After reading off a question that said, 'Does God love believers more than He does unbelievers?' he arrogantly and resolutely "ANSWERED" with an emphatic "YES".
Seriously. He said that there is scriptural evidence to suggest that God chooses some and does not choose others and that He loves some and does not love others. Seriously.
Now, yes, there's context to this whole thing. But that's still the bottom line of what he was saying. And I'm not saying that I don't believe in a distinction between "God's people". I understand that as well as the "setting apart" of them. But in this discussion about "questions" I was absolutely dumbfounded that it didn't even occur to this pastor or anyone else that perhaps that was the WRONG question to ask. I mean, really, do you really want to talk about how God loves some people but not other people? Was that the "message from God" for today?
It didn't even occur to him that perhaps the better question to ask instead of 'Does God love believers MORE than He does unbelivers?' but rather would have been better to ask 'How does God want me to love both believers AND unbelievers?' That would have been a question God would answer. I mean, how many times did Jesus NOT answer a stupid question? SO MANY times! Why? Because people asked the wrong question.
But no. Instead of reframing the question, he stayed on that direction to go on and on about God's sovereignty to love whomever He chooses and to NOT love whomever He chooses. Why, did this pastor say? So that the ones He chooses to love could FULLY APPRECIATE the love. So that the ones He chooses to love could see the contrast. Seriously. He spoke about an exclusive love. No empathy or compassion for those outside of God's love. Just that those whom God chooses to love should appreciate being chosen.
I also wondered why the pastor wasn't coming up to me to shake my hand or welcome me during the entire service - particularly since there was literally 12 people in the room and there was a 'say hello to your neighbor' time and also two times where everyone broke up into tiny groups to discuss stuff. There were times when he could have said hello. I wondered if he recognized me because we had met once or twice YEARS ago while I was with that faith-based non-profit that I co-founded. But maybe he didn't recognize me. Yet still he chose not to greet or welcome the obvious ONLY newcomer.
At the close of the service, he prayed a prayer of just accepting truth in faith. Um, the truth that HE just presented? Without question? Without doubt? The prayer was to accept it even when it was hard to accept. His answers. His truth. His interpretation. His worldview. I seriously thought this, but during the prayer it really felt like it was a brainwashing. But this wasn't a cult out in some remote ranch. This was a church just like most in the city.
So then after the service when everything was done and over with, he walked up to me saying my name, 'Eric, you remember we met before.' And I was completely friendly and saying that it was good to see him and he asked a couple probing questions about what I was doing now. I told him about Catalyst Community and I told him about the Green Long Beach! Festival and that some from his church were having a booth and selling T-shirts. I told him about some of the good things we're doing in the community. I didn't say anything gay-related.
He wasn't interested in what I was doing now though. He wanted to probe because he had thought I was a pastor. I told him that I encouraged some communities of gay Christians to feel supported because there are so many that want to worship but are being rejected out of their own congregations. But no I said I wasn't a pastor. And in that context of conversation, he began to say what he really wanted to say which was that he wanted to make it CLEAR that they were not an "affirming" congregation.
(And in my head, I'm thinking why is this relevant? I didn't bring up the gay thing, he did. And if he didn't know me before this, he wouldn't have even known that I was gay.)
Really? I'm here visiting your church and was actually looking for a place to start going to regularly and the welcome sales pitch is to make it CLEAR that they were not a place that thinks "gay" is okay. Really? And after me telling you that there are SO MANY CHRISTIANS who are gay that WANT TO WORSHIP JESUS but are being REJECTED out of their OWN CONGREGATIONS, you feel it necessary to talk about the gay pride parade and how there are churches in the parade that are affirming of "the lifestyle" and there are churches on the side that are holding picket signs and yelling "burn," and you want to tell me that your church represents "neither" but that you want to make it CLEAR that "we are not affirming"? Really? That's what you want to tell me?
And after saying these things to me, he started saying with a smile, "That's my main concern. I wanted to make that clear." After he said that a couple times, I thought it was odd. It seemed out of context. So I inquired, "wait, sooooo, what's your CONCERN?" I asked genuinely with a 'I don't get it' tone. I wasn't saying anything about anything gay regarding me and this congregation. And he said, "well the festival. If we're going to have a booth, I wanted to make it CLEAR that we're not affirming." So I was like, "but the festival is a GREEN festival. You know, GREEN as in, the environment? The festival is about encouraging people about sustainability and how to use energy efficiently and to talk about recycling." And he was like, "oh."
"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." Ezekiel 16:49
Who's the Sodomite?
So now as I think back to the lack of welcome and the lack of eye contact and the messages that God loves the believer and NOT the unbeliever and the closing prayer to accept the truth and the intentional effort to make it CLEAR (his words) that they were not an affirming church . . . . I get the sense that it was all because he did recognize me right from the beginning. Remember, there were only 12 people present. I was clearly the newcomer.
After he realized that I was helping to organize logistics for a GREEN festival, he said his goodbyes to me, stepped back and away to assemble his post-church service meeting (which was actually a debrief of their 'outreach project').
I said my friendly goodbyes to the folks I met, started shaking my head and wiped my feet at the front door as I LEFT them.
What a freakin' arrogant hypocrite.
So I drove home just pissed and angry and mad at how disrespectful he was but with a smile. I'm SURE he has NO CLUE as to how offensive he was. And I'm SURE he has NO CLUE as to how he hurt me and his own witness.
By the time I got home, still mad, the first thing I saw when I turned on the television was the ending speech from Sigourney Weaver in "Prayers For Bobby" (see below) and by the time she hugged her son/that kid at the side of the parade I was literally balling my eyes out just crying like really really heavy tears.
I mean, seriously, why can't I just go to a church service with other people that love Jesus and not leave feeling worse than I did when I arrived? (And no, maybe I don't want to always go to a church where the congregation are mostly gay.)
As far as I've gone on this journey, I'm still surprised at how this still affects me the way it does. I still take it very personally, the Church's rejection of gay people, because my own story of suicide is very real and relevant to me. And I was the one who gave THEM a chance. I freakin' allowed myself, yet one more time, to go into a place knowing that these freakin' Christians might freakin' hurt me freakin' again. AGAIN! It still affects me profoundly and as strong as I think I am, they still freakin' make me cry every time.
Damn it.
Break the cycle of hurt. Go to www.TwoWorldCollision.com.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Choosing to Love
This is a letter written by my straight Journey Christian friend Becky to a pastor in response to a comment he had made about gays:
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The truth is, you never know how you are going to react to something until it is close to you.
Whether or not I think being gay is right or wrong is not the issue. This is an issue of love. How we choose to love and respond when people are being hurt and treated as being something less than human . . . .
There was a day when I had to make a choice. I chose to listen to the stories. A story about a young man just beginning his life who was hung on a fence post to die. Why? And what makes it even more horrifying is that "Christians" to this day still protest saying this boy is now in HELL...I refuse to believe that.
Then there was another story about a friend of mine who loved the LORD with all of his heart, who had to leave his church and the youth group he loved..for many reasons... but mostly because he feared the reactions of his fellow Christians should they find out he was gay.
There were friends who do not want to leave their house because of how they have been treated. Humans who believe that they should not be on this earth!
There was a close friend who lived in fear, every day of his life. Fear that he would be "found out", always looking over his shoulder if he chose to go out with friends. Who might see him in the "gay" district. I began to ask myself why there was even a "gay" district in cities. I related it to biblical times when so many Christians were persecuted and had to go live in groups together in hiding to get away for the hatred and abuse. They could not tell anyone who they were for fear of losing their lives.
So, therefore I chose to listen and be a positive force in place where people feel like darkness sounds them everyday. I chose to be light in the darkness. I want to make the darkness and pain go away for my friends. I want to go to the places I believe JESUS would be. HE would be with the broken, hurt and suffering. HE would be with the people who have been abused, and all in the name of the Lord.
I had to make a choice a number of years ago when 3 very close and dear friends of mine all came out to me in what seemed a matter of days. I had two options, one was to hurt them, alienate them and leave them alone. The other was that of LOVE. That no matter what, I would love them through my actions, to accept them and everyone right where they were at. Was it right or wrong? I don't know, but I would allow God to be God and if it were wrong then He would convict my friends. My job was to have no agenda, to love them right where they were at, as hard as that may be. What grew out of that decision, both filled me with love and also shocked me.
One time I accompanied my friend to the "gay district" and I met a man who told me he hated "Christians", hated everything about them. I told him that I was one of those people he hated. He asked why I was there then? I explained to him how I had no agenda, that I was there with my friend, to support him. It was amazing how that turned him around and we talked for hours about everything. I questioned him and began to dig deeper, and found out that he had a great sense of who God was and knew that God was bigger than the universe. Before we went our separate ways that night he said to me that I seemed "different", a good different, different than most people. I just smiled, knowing what it was. It was an 'aha' moment for me, I felt shalom come over me. That is exactly what I wanted. I want to be different, I want to be a Christian without ever having to say I am. Without ever having to quote from the Bible. I just want people to see something different in me, and that being Jesus Christ.
That was not the only occasion, afterward gay people seemed to be everywhere. I had to reexamine what I was forced fed. Here is what I know, I believe that everyone was created equally in God's image. That He loves everyone the same, and that it does not matter what someone has done, is doing, or will do for He knows all.
I have become extremely passionate about erasing the stereotypes that are often held against the gay community. Yes, there are gays who do go out the bar, just like many straight people. There are gays who do sleep around with many sexual partners, just as do many straight people. There are gays who refuse to walk in the way of the Lord, as do many straight people. So why does our society deem it "normal" when straights do these things and "perverted" of gays?
In the end, it does not matter to me if a friend of mine is gay or straight, they are my friend. Unless of course they were endangering their life, I would let them know and beg them to stop, gay or straight.
I have come to realize that people are people, no matter what their sexual preference may be, no matter what their denomination or religion, no matter the color of their skin.
I contend that if my beliefs are wrong that I will be shown that in one way or another from God. I believe that HE is the ultimate judge....it is up to HIM, not me nor any other human being.
The Pharisees are mentioned many times in the Bible. I remember the story of one of the Pharisees inviting Jesus to dinner and the Pharisees being upset because Jesus did not wash before the meal. Jesus tells them that they clean the outside but the inside is full of greed and wickedness. In many ways that is not too far off from so many Christians of today. We look great and "clean" on the outside, we go to Church services on Sunday and forget about "Church" the rest of the week.
I recently watched a movie called Prayers for Bobby! It was a true story about a young gay boy growing in a conservative Christian household, with a mother who was misguided by what she was taught. She made her own son feel like he was nothing. She would tell Bobby he was going to hell, and that she would never accept him, ever and neither would GOD! After years of struggle, Bobby ends up taking his own life. It is not until after his death that his mother realizes what she had done. She found his journal and read of the struggles he had, how he prayed endlessly to change and how he questioned GOD. It was then that she too began to question, how could a beautiful, loving boy like her son be damned to hell? In the end she realizes that the judging should have been left to GOD, not her, nor any other human. She knew she was partially responsible for what happened to her son because of her close-minded thinking. Her fight to change that thinking continues to this day.
In the end, it does not matter what I think or what anyone else out there thinks. To me it only matters what GOD thinks. I believe that JESUS loves us all the same. His love is unchanging for everyone. I think that if we focused on what we had in COMMON with one another, instead of the differences, then we could live in true COMMUNITY as we were meant to live! I do not know what made GOD lay this topic on my heart? But, he did and I can feel in the core of my bones. It has allowed me to learn so much about myself and who I was created to be. To understand what it means to be a Christian and love one another unconditionally. To show people love through my actions. I believe that love really does win!!!! Love is a choice and I choose to love! Love wins.
Becky O F
Romans 15v4-6
"If you judge others you will have no time to love them."~ Mother Teresa
"Before you echo 'Amen' in your home or place of worship, think and remember...a child is listening." Mary Griffith.
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If you are a straight Christian who, like Becky, thinks that expressing genuine love is more important than the divisive politics of the Church's homosexuality debate, then join us at Two World Collision Collaborative Christian Community and find out what it means to be a "Journey Christian."
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The truth is, you never know how you are going to react to something until it is close to you.
Whether or not I think being gay is right or wrong is not the issue. This is an issue of love. How we choose to love and respond when people are being hurt and treated as being something less than human . . . .
There was a day when I had to make a choice. I chose to listen to the stories. A story about a young man just beginning his life who was hung on a fence post to die. Why? And what makes it even more horrifying is that "Christians" to this day still protest saying this boy is now in HELL...I refuse to believe that.
Then there was another story about a friend of mine who loved the LORD with all of his heart, who had to leave his church and the youth group he loved..for many reasons... but mostly because he feared the reactions of his fellow Christians should they find out he was gay.
There were friends who do not want to leave their house because of how they have been treated. Humans who believe that they should not be on this earth!
There was a close friend who lived in fear, every day of his life. Fear that he would be "found out", always looking over his shoulder if he chose to go out with friends. Who might see him in the "gay" district. I began to ask myself why there was even a "gay" district in cities. I related it to biblical times when so many Christians were persecuted and had to go live in groups together in hiding to get away for the hatred and abuse. They could not tell anyone who they were for fear of losing their lives.
So, therefore I chose to listen and be a positive force in place where people feel like darkness sounds them everyday. I chose to be light in the darkness. I want to make the darkness and pain go away for my friends. I want to go to the places I believe JESUS would be. HE would be with the broken, hurt and suffering. HE would be with the people who have been abused, and all in the name of the Lord.
I had to make a choice a number of years ago when 3 very close and dear friends of mine all came out to me in what seemed a matter of days. I had two options, one was to hurt them, alienate them and leave them alone. The other was that of LOVE. That no matter what, I would love them through my actions, to accept them and everyone right where they were at. Was it right or wrong? I don't know, but I would allow God to be God and if it were wrong then He would convict my friends. My job was to have no agenda, to love them right where they were at, as hard as that may be. What grew out of that decision, both filled me with love and also shocked me.
One time I accompanied my friend to the "gay district" and I met a man who told me he hated "Christians", hated everything about them. I told him that I was one of those people he hated. He asked why I was there then? I explained to him how I had no agenda, that I was there with my friend, to support him. It was amazing how that turned him around and we talked for hours about everything. I questioned him and began to dig deeper, and found out that he had a great sense of who God was and knew that God was bigger than the universe. Before we went our separate ways that night he said to me that I seemed "different", a good different, different than most people. I just smiled, knowing what it was. It was an 'aha' moment for me, I felt shalom come over me. That is exactly what I wanted. I want to be different, I want to be a Christian without ever having to say I am. Without ever having to quote from the Bible. I just want people to see something different in me, and that being Jesus Christ.
That was not the only occasion, afterward gay people seemed to be everywhere. I had to reexamine what I was forced fed. Here is what I know, I believe that everyone was created equally in God's image. That He loves everyone the same, and that it does not matter what someone has done, is doing, or will do for He knows all.
I have become extremely passionate about erasing the stereotypes that are often held against the gay community. Yes, there are gays who do go out the bar, just like many straight people. There are gays who do sleep around with many sexual partners, just as do many straight people. There are gays who refuse to walk in the way of the Lord, as do many straight people. So why does our society deem it "normal" when straights do these things and "perverted" of gays?
In the end, it does not matter to me if a friend of mine is gay or straight, they are my friend. Unless of course they were endangering their life, I would let them know and beg them to stop, gay or straight.
I have come to realize that people are people, no matter what their sexual preference may be, no matter what their denomination or religion, no matter the color of their skin.
I contend that if my beliefs are wrong that I will be shown that in one way or another from God. I believe that HE is the ultimate judge....it is up to HIM, not me nor any other human being.
The Pharisees are mentioned many times in the Bible. I remember the story of one of the Pharisees inviting Jesus to dinner and the Pharisees being upset because Jesus did not wash before the meal. Jesus tells them that they clean the outside but the inside is full of greed and wickedness. In many ways that is not too far off from so many Christians of today. We look great and "clean" on the outside, we go to Church services on Sunday and forget about "Church" the rest of the week.
I recently watched a movie called Prayers for Bobby! It was a true story about a young gay boy growing in a conservative Christian household, with a mother who was misguided by what she was taught. She made her own son feel like he was nothing. She would tell Bobby he was going to hell, and that she would never accept him, ever and neither would GOD! After years of struggle, Bobby ends up taking his own life. It is not until after his death that his mother realizes what she had done. She found his journal and read of the struggles he had, how he prayed endlessly to change and how he questioned GOD. It was then that she too began to question, how could a beautiful, loving boy like her son be damned to hell? In the end she realizes that the judging should have been left to GOD, not her, nor any other human. She knew she was partially responsible for what happened to her son because of her close-minded thinking. Her fight to change that thinking continues to this day.
In the end, it does not matter what I think or what anyone else out there thinks. To me it only matters what GOD thinks. I believe that JESUS loves us all the same. His love is unchanging for everyone. I think that if we focused on what we had in COMMON with one another, instead of the differences, then we could live in true COMMUNITY as we were meant to live! I do not know what made GOD lay this topic on my heart? But, he did and I can feel in the core of my bones. It has allowed me to learn so much about myself and who I was created to be. To understand what it means to be a Christian and love one another unconditionally. To show people love through my actions. I believe that love really does win!!!! Love is a choice and I choose to love! Love wins.
Becky O F
Romans 15v4-6
"If you judge others you will have no time to love them."~ Mother Teresa
"Before you echo 'Amen' in your home or place of worship, think and remember...a child is listening." Mary Griffith.
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If you are a straight Christian who, like Becky, thinks that expressing genuine love is more important than the divisive politics of the Church's homosexuality debate, then join us at Two World Collision Collaborative Christian Community and find out what it means to be a "Journey Christian."
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Outside the Village Walls
So I happened to see a post card flyer of an event called "the Murder Jesus Project" that i was thinking about checking out tonight. It's hosted by A Village Community, a local Long Beach church. I spent an hour checking out their web sites and watching many of their videos. Here's the one on that project:
From what I could see from many of their creative videos is that they welcome people on life's journey. I found myself wondering if this village community of believers even had the capacity to walk with these kinds of people. Attracting them to the church is one thing, but what happens once they've "attended"? I wonder how willing this village community is to really journeying with us or if they simply wanted to bring people in for an event.
I noted, by the way, that their stated spiritual beliefs is just a link to the Missionary Church denomination and I enjoyed reading about their beliefs that "homosexual activity, like adulterous relationships, is clearly condemned in the Scriptures". Who knows if this particular local church agrees with their denomination mother ship but their site doesn't say otherwise. Would that mean that I'm not welcome in their village community?
And so why would I want to set myself up by trying to join their village only to have them set me outside the village walls once they get to know the real me? Or worse, allow me inside the village square without inviting me into their homes.
[enter sarcasm] And people think of the gay community when they think of the sin of Sodom? (Ezekiel 16:49)
(I know, it sounds like I'm pre-judging this local church but i'm more commenting on mainstream churches in general. I'm still gonna check them out tonight.)
In describing my own journey, I'll often talk about not being a part of an institutional church because I have a different paradigm of "Church" - that Church is the community of believers connected by Spirit and relationship, not a place to go or a thing to do. We are the Church. And i'll often justify not going to a sunday "service" because i'll say that i'm in regular community with believers.
That's not been the case so much these past few months. I've kept myself occupied trying to do good things in the community and I've actually had a great time getting to know many folks in the creative communities and even the green communities. But the truth is, I've been out of fellowship and the next time someone asks me what church I "go" to, I'll probably respond authentically with "I don't".
I've been talking to Jesus about it actually. It's just that I don't connect with or resonate with much of what I see from many churches. I've been around too long and so I can see right through the gimmicks. It just turns me off. And what's more, I'm kinda bugging over people who say one thing but don't follow through. I'd like to see a community of believers who were investing in mutually knowing each other - both regulars and newcomers instead of being content with simply seeing each other at events.
I know tomorrow is Easter. I've no idea what I'll do. And my family decided not to get together for the traditional lunch gathering. It's easy for them to decide that when they all have their own families to be with - spouse and kids and in-laws. I don't have that just yet, being single and all. They are my only family.
I'm not too keen on attending an Easter service either when I barely even go on any other sunday.
You get that I'm not all that concerned with presenting a super gay Christian image, right? This is just me (today), unapologetically.
Either way, me and Jesus are still sticking around doing our thing.
From what I could see from many of their creative videos is that they welcome people on life's journey. I found myself wondering if this village community of believers even had the capacity to walk with these kinds of people. Attracting them to the church is one thing, but what happens once they've "attended"? I wonder how willing this village community is to really journeying with us or if they simply wanted to bring people in for an event.
I noted, by the way, that their stated spiritual beliefs is just a link to the Missionary Church denomination and I enjoyed reading about their beliefs that "homosexual activity, like adulterous relationships, is clearly condemned in the Scriptures". Who knows if this particular local church agrees with their denomination mother ship but their site doesn't say otherwise. Would that mean that I'm not welcome in their village community?
And so why would I want to set myself up by trying to join their village only to have them set me outside the village walls once they get to know the real me? Or worse, allow me inside the village square without inviting me into their homes.
[enter sarcasm] And people think of the gay community when they think of the sin of Sodom? (Ezekiel 16:49)
(I know, it sounds like I'm pre-judging this local church but i'm more commenting on mainstream churches in general. I'm still gonna check them out tonight.)
In describing my own journey, I'll often talk about not being a part of an institutional church because I have a different paradigm of "Church" - that Church is the community of believers connected by Spirit and relationship, not a place to go or a thing to do. We are the Church. And i'll often justify not going to a sunday "service" because i'll say that i'm in regular community with believers.
That's not been the case so much these past few months. I've kept myself occupied trying to do good things in the community and I've actually had a great time getting to know many folks in the creative communities and even the green communities. But the truth is, I've been out of fellowship and the next time someone asks me what church I "go" to, I'll probably respond authentically with "I don't".
I've been talking to Jesus about it actually. It's just that I don't connect with or resonate with much of what I see from many churches. I've been around too long and so I can see right through the gimmicks. It just turns me off. And what's more, I'm kinda bugging over people who say one thing but don't follow through. I'd like to see a community of believers who were investing in mutually knowing each other - both regulars and newcomers instead of being content with simply seeing each other at events.
I know tomorrow is Easter. I've no idea what I'll do. And my family decided not to get together for the traditional lunch gathering. It's easy for them to decide that when they all have their own families to be with - spouse and kids and in-laws. I don't have that just yet, being single and all. They are my only family.
I'm not too keen on attending an Easter service either when I barely even go on any other sunday.
You get that I'm not all that concerned with presenting a super gay Christian image, right? This is just me (today), unapologetically.
Either way, me and Jesus are still sticking around doing our thing.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Through My Eyes
I really was not expecting to tear up and cry while here at work after seeing this again.
My own story rings clearly for me and while I hear clips of their stories, they sound so much like mine. (see "Suicide and the Porcelain Punisher").
I suppose I teared up this morning because I've been feeling kinda alone in recent weeks - for a lot of reasons, really. But after seeing the trailer for Through My Eyes, GCN's recently released project documentary of young Christians wrestling with the issue of being gay and of homosexuality in the Church, I found that it stirred up a lot of those familiar emotions and memories of searching for connection and never seeming to find it.
These days, I busy myself with helping others to connect. I've been working non-stop on the Catalyst Community (www.GoCatalyst.org) and the Green Long Beach! Festival (www.greenLB.org) the past three months. Not to mention my other project, the Two World Collision Collaborative Christian Community site (www.TwoWorldCollision.com) as well as many of the other collaborative communities and coalitions that I've been trying to help catalyze. These are all reasons why I haven't blogged here so frequently.
But in working so hard to help others connect, the heart of where that comes from is my own desire and need to connect - to feel connected. I long for reciprocity. And I appreciate the few truly mutual friendships that I do have in my life. It's just hard when relationships seem to come and go or fade before a root takes hold. What's harder is trying - really trying - not to internalize this pattern as my fault. Or perhaps it is. Or some of it.
Regardless of the reasons why or what the pattern means, at the end of the day I still find myself alone.
In thinking about these stories of young Christians who live and/or wrestle with being gay, what resonates for me is the fact that we want to connect. We want to live in faithful Christ-centered community. But when our churches reject us, what more do we have left?
A pastor asked me once regarding me not having a home church and asked if there was a community of believers who missed me when I wasn't present. The interesting thing is that after attending services at that church, no one acknowledged that I was present in the first place. And after subsequently discontinuing attendance at those services, I've not heard from the pastor. It's hard to miss someone you didn't realize was there.
So I suppose the answer to the question is "no."
My own story rings clearly for me and while I hear clips of their stories, they sound so much like mine. (see "Suicide and the Porcelain Punisher").
I suppose I teared up this morning because I've been feeling kinda alone in recent weeks - for a lot of reasons, really. But after seeing the trailer for Through My Eyes, GCN's recently released project documentary of young Christians wrestling with the issue of being gay and of homosexuality in the Church, I found that it stirred up a lot of those familiar emotions and memories of searching for connection and never seeming to find it.
These days, I busy myself with helping others to connect. I've been working non-stop on the Catalyst Community (www.GoCatalyst.org) and the Green Long Beach! Festival (www.greenLB.org) the past three months. Not to mention my other project, the Two World Collision Collaborative Christian Community site (www.TwoWorldCollision.com) as well as many of the other collaborative communities and coalitions that I've been trying to help catalyze. These are all reasons why I haven't blogged here so frequently.
But in working so hard to help others connect, the heart of where that comes from is my own desire and need to connect - to feel connected. I long for reciprocity. And I appreciate the few truly mutual friendships that I do have in my life. It's just hard when relationships seem to come and go or fade before a root takes hold. What's harder is trying - really trying - not to internalize this pattern as my fault. Or perhaps it is. Or some of it.
Regardless of the reasons why or what the pattern means, at the end of the day I still find myself alone.
In thinking about these stories of young Christians who live and/or wrestle with being gay, what resonates for me is the fact that we want to connect. We want to live in faithful Christ-centered community. But when our churches reject us, what more do we have left?
A pastor asked me once regarding me not having a home church and asked if there was a community of believers who missed me when I wasn't present. The interesting thing is that after attending services at that church, no one acknowledged that I was present in the first place. And after subsequently discontinuing attendance at those services, I've not heard from the pastor. It's hard to miss someone you didn't realize was there.
So I suppose the answer to the question is "no."
Sunday, February 01, 2009
The Monkey's Pet Fish
I was having one of those "ugly" cries. You know that gross tears flowing out of my eyes with snot dripping from my nose and lips quivering into an upside down smile with cheeks tightened up. That kinda cry. It was one of those "ugly" cries.
Not cute.
I was driving on the freeway this morning when it happened, on my way to a church service at Newsong in Irvine, California. There's a few reasons why this is significant to me. For starters, it's a predominantly Asian congregation. Secondly, it's a predominantly straight congregation. Thirdly, it's a bit of a mega-church. If you've followed my story these past couple years you'd know that these are definitely outside of my comfort zone.
But the Lord, in His hilarity and divine plan, was sending me here and I knew exactly what was up His sleeve. I just didn't necessarily like the fact that I had to be the one, once again, to go do the thing that absolutely challenged my sense of courage and security.
I was having a breakthrough there in the car this morning. And that breakthrough was the realization that I was afraid of God's people. I've never been afraid of God. He's always been trustworthy and consistently by my side. He's my friend. But it's God's people that I fear, at times. Because much of the profound hurt that I've experienced in my life was connected in some way to God's people, my own brothers and sisters in Christ. Ironic.
I wasn't crying because of the fear though. I was crying because realizing the truth that many people are afraid of Christians and see them as unsafe hurt-ers instead of heal-ers makes me sad and (I think) grieves the Spirit . . . .(read more)
For the major part of my life I've experienced ethnic shame for being Filipino. I didn't like being Asian nor did I feel like I connected with other Asians. I experienced racial prejudice with slurs directed at me while at a very young age and I responded by internalizing that hatred. Until recent years, having come out of the closet, the Lord has done much healing in me in that area of my life. Particularly since the Lord had begun a process in me of learning how to love myself as I am, the way He does. And so I've found myself growing - becoming more and more comfortable around Asians and even being able to look in the mirror.
Going to the service at Newsong was also going to be the first time since coming out that I was going to be investing in relationships with straight people in a church fellowship. When I came out, I had primarily been visiting with and getting to know people in congregations where the majority of people were gay. But this morning, I wasn't simply visiting a "straight" church because of an invitation or because I was church hopping. Before I even experienced a sunday morning service at Newsong, the Lord had already been telling me that I was supposed to go and invest in relationships there. So whether or not my first impression was great or terrible, I already knew going in that I was going to keep coming.
The fact that this was a church with resources and lots of people and that God was sending me here didn't make me feel comfortable either. My paradigm of Church has always been that "church" was not a "place to go to" or a "thing to do". I believe that we are the Church - the web of relationships that comprise God's family who live out a lifestyle of faith, and so if we are to experience this community fully, we have to see past the man-made structures and begin to see a Church without walls. ("Jumping the Walls" and "Band of Brothers and Sisters" describes my paradigm of Church further.) But one of the things that I liked hearing about Newsong beforehand was that they taught about similar themes regarding the Church without walls. It would be interesting to see how this looked within the context of a mega-church structure - to see if the substance of relationships in community was present as evidence of those who lived out this "Church without walls" paradigm. Nevertheless, the things I had been told about Newsong before coming to a service was refreshing.
So there I was crying in the car talking with God about how He always seems to send me to uncomfortable places. The reality is that I'm just always willing to go where He is. He's taken me to some very interesting places in my life and they were all places where He was already actively working among the hearts of people there. And so here He was again, sending me to an Asian Straight Mega-Church. My God's a comedian and He thinks He's funny.
The point isn't that Newsong is fine and great and that God is working through them to minister to others. I'm sure that's happening but that's not what I'm talking about. The point is that God has been actively working on the hearts of people here at Newsong and He wanted me to witness it and possibly even be a part of it. I don't know exactly what that looks like but if indeed He's preparing their hearts to enter into friendly non-combative relationships with gay people as a different approach to the historically hostile approach towards them, then heck yeah I'll keep myself in proximity to wait for God's prompting or call on me to share my heart and life.
I can be pretty critical of the Church in general with all of it's institutional surface relationships that come in arrogantly and hypocritically with best intentions of helping poor needy souls. It's like the Church has a savior complex. But I'm not simply critical of the Church. I can see what the Church can be - effective ambassadors of reconciliation, once again. We're not that now. But we can be. I've often written and spoken about these things. But here, this morning, I could be in the very uncomfortable situation of being part of God's answered prayer. It's not enough for me to talk about how the Church needs to change while in the comfortable safe spaces of fellowship with people like me. No, if I was going to pray for it, then I have to be willing to be the tangible body that God uses to answer my own prayer. Otherwise, I'd just be complaining.
For several months now, the Lord had been speaking to me about building community among straight Christians who could be loving and supportive of those who are gay. I haven't seen that happening much elsewhere in the conservative evangelical world. For two years, the Lord had me investing in relationships with gay people and even catalyze a tangible sense of community among gay Christians. Now it seems the Lord would have me do similar things with straight Christians. And already knowing the character and trend of God in my own life, I can see how these two communities of gay and straight Christians can eventually be brought together - not through program or agenda but rather through relationship.
If that's what He's up to, then I'll go and do whatever He wants me to do. Even if that means going to a community of straight Asian Christians and for the first time offering myself authentically right from the start. I would make no effort to advertise the fact that I'm gay but I would make no effort to hide the fact either. I would allow myself to be known (organically and in due time) as the man that I am and if God sparks relationship between me and others then I trust that it will be mutually edifying.
But this comes with huge emotional and relational risk. I've no idea how I'll be received. I can say that the two people from this congregation that I've shared a meal with - dinner with the Life Development Pastor and lunch with the Small Groups Director - both received me with love and generous hearts. And I can call them friends. But I've got my share of baggage. My hope is simply to be known in safe ways and to know others in safe ways.
Honestly, though, I don't enter into this without my own hypocrisy. I speak a lot about the need for reconciliation and for the most part I've seen that in my life more and more. But very recently, only a week and a half ago, a friend that I've known for almost ten years betrayed my trust and I've been having a difficult time forgiving him - much less giving him the time of day or releasing his "blocked" status from my Facebook.
Boy, I'm telling you that actually living out this life with Jesus is tough! It's one thing to go through the motions on Sunday morning but it's absolutely another thing to be owning His life as mine.
The pastor at Newsong Church is Dave Gibbons. I don't know too much about his celebrity but I gather that the work and ministry that he's done for the Lord has been noticed in evangelical Christendom. He's also got a new book out called "The Monkey and the Fish: Liquid Leadership for a Third Culture Church" which I'm very interested in reading since much of what I've heard has resonated with my paradigm of Church. This morning, he shared several points with the congregation while introducing the eastern story of The Monkey and the Fish. In a nutshell, the story tells of a typhoon raging and the monkey who sees the fish in the water. With good intentions, the monkey tried to "save" the fish by picking it up out of the water. The pet fish died and the monkey is an idiot. (That last part was my own, sorry Dave.)
So when I think about the Church on the issue of gays both in the congregation and in the community, some people can be a big monkey trying to help their pet fish and just makes things worse.
Ex-gay programs, exorcisms, reparative therapy, ex-communication from church or being disowned from the family.
The Church has left in its wake people like me who cry on the way to their precious "church services" or on the way home or in the shower or any where else where we feel completely alone.
But we are no one's pet and none of us wants to be someone's project.
While Dave didn't specifically reference the gay thing in his message, I think it can be applied. Straight Christians can do a world of good by simply putting the halo on the shelf, getting in the water, and experiencing empathy for what it's like to be gay - both in the congregation and in the community. In Dave's message, he talked about how this will require people to be in painful adaptation - the notion that it is going to be absolutely uncomfortable, will require a commitment to staying in the water (in relationship), and operating with the truth that Jesus is already present and that it's okay to step aside and just watch.
There's only room for One Savior in this Church.
So let's not mess up what Jesus is doing by throwing ourselves in before assessing how Jesus wants to use us productively.
On the flip side to this whole message is that I feel like God was telling me that not only am I the fish but that God was leading me to be of help to the monkey. It's not about the monkey being productively helpful to the poor fish. It's about the monkey being humble enough to realize that he could possibly use some help from the fish.
But how do you tell a fish that he can help the same monkey that tried to drown him with oxygen in the first place?
I guess that's where I find myself at right now.
I believe that I am a child of God, a member of His Church, who is not only valued and loved but is also useful and qualified for serving in His Kingdom. Am I willing to take the same humble approach of not simply trying to save the Church from its arrogant ways as if I'm some sort of twisted savior, but instead am I willing to build relationship with other straight Christians to actually appreciate their well-intentioned hearts and to earn the kind of trust in these relationships that grants me the privilege of speaking into a person's life?
It's the same approach that I would want from straight Christians to gay people. It seems only fair and reasonable that we would each share a stance of common humility.
Gosh, I can see the transforming power of reconciliation through relationships that God can do in healing His own Church - answering the prayers from both "sides". And what a testimony it could be to the world to show that even the Church can learn to forgive itself.
That kind of credibility would go a long way towards us being seen and even welcomed again as ambassadors of reconciliation.
[Be sure to check out Two World Collision Collaborative Christian Community for both gay and straight Journey Christians.]
Not cute.
I was driving on the freeway this morning when it happened, on my way to a church service at Newsong in Irvine, California. There's a few reasons why this is significant to me. For starters, it's a predominantly Asian congregation. Secondly, it's a predominantly straight congregation. Thirdly, it's a bit of a mega-church. If you've followed my story these past couple years you'd know that these are definitely outside of my comfort zone.
But the Lord, in His hilarity and divine plan, was sending me here and I knew exactly what was up His sleeve. I just didn't necessarily like the fact that I had to be the one, once again, to go do the thing that absolutely challenged my sense of courage and security.
I was having a breakthrough there in the car this morning. And that breakthrough was the realization that I was afraid of God's people. I've never been afraid of God. He's always been trustworthy and consistently by my side. He's my friend. But it's God's people that I fear, at times. Because much of the profound hurt that I've experienced in my life was connected in some way to God's people, my own brothers and sisters in Christ. Ironic.
I wasn't crying because of the fear though. I was crying because realizing the truth that many people are afraid of Christians and see them as unsafe hurt-ers instead of heal-ers makes me sad and (I think) grieves the Spirit . . . .(read more)
For the major part of my life I've experienced ethnic shame for being Filipino. I didn't like being Asian nor did I feel like I connected with other Asians. I experienced racial prejudice with slurs directed at me while at a very young age and I responded by internalizing that hatred. Until recent years, having come out of the closet, the Lord has done much healing in me in that area of my life. Particularly since the Lord had begun a process in me of learning how to love myself as I am, the way He does. And so I've found myself growing - becoming more and more comfortable around Asians and even being able to look in the mirror.
Going to the service at Newsong was also going to be the first time since coming out that I was going to be investing in relationships with straight people in a church fellowship. When I came out, I had primarily been visiting with and getting to know people in congregations where the majority of people were gay. But this morning, I wasn't simply visiting a "straight" church because of an invitation or because I was church hopping. Before I even experienced a sunday morning service at Newsong, the Lord had already been telling me that I was supposed to go and invest in relationships there. So whether or not my first impression was great or terrible, I already knew going in that I was going to keep coming.
The fact that this was a church with resources and lots of people and that God was sending me here didn't make me feel comfortable either. My paradigm of Church has always been that "church" was not a "place to go to" or a "thing to do". I believe that we are the Church - the web of relationships that comprise God's family who live out a lifestyle of faith, and so if we are to experience this community fully, we have to see past the man-made structures and begin to see a Church without walls. ("Jumping the Walls" and "Band of Brothers and Sisters" describes my paradigm of Church further.) But one of the things that I liked hearing about Newsong beforehand was that they taught about similar themes regarding the Church without walls. It would be interesting to see how this looked within the context of a mega-church structure - to see if the substance of relationships in community was present as evidence of those who lived out this "Church without walls" paradigm. Nevertheless, the things I had been told about Newsong before coming to a service was refreshing.
So there I was crying in the car talking with God about how He always seems to send me to uncomfortable places. The reality is that I'm just always willing to go where He is. He's taken me to some very interesting places in my life and they were all places where He was already actively working among the hearts of people there. And so here He was again, sending me to an Asian Straight Mega-Church. My God's a comedian and He thinks He's funny.
The point isn't that Newsong is fine and great and that God is working through them to minister to others. I'm sure that's happening but that's not what I'm talking about. The point is that God has been actively working on the hearts of people here at Newsong and He wanted me to witness it and possibly even be a part of it. I don't know exactly what that looks like but if indeed He's preparing their hearts to enter into friendly non-combative relationships with gay people as a different approach to the historically hostile approach towards them, then heck yeah I'll keep myself in proximity to wait for God's prompting or call on me to share my heart and life.
I can be pretty critical of the Church in general with all of it's institutional surface relationships that come in arrogantly and hypocritically with best intentions of helping poor needy souls. It's like the Church has a savior complex. But I'm not simply critical of the Church. I can see what the Church can be - effective ambassadors of reconciliation, once again. We're not that now. But we can be. I've often written and spoken about these things. But here, this morning, I could be in the very uncomfortable situation of being part of God's answered prayer. It's not enough for me to talk about how the Church needs to change while in the comfortable safe spaces of fellowship with people like me. No, if I was going to pray for it, then I have to be willing to be the tangible body that God uses to answer my own prayer. Otherwise, I'd just be complaining.
For several months now, the Lord had been speaking to me about building community among straight Christians who could be loving and supportive of those who are gay. I haven't seen that happening much elsewhere in the conservative evangelical world. For two years, the Lord had me investing in relationships with gay people and even catalyze a tangible sense of community among gay Christians. Now it seems the Lord would have me do similar things with straight Christians. And already knowing the character and trend of God in my own life, I can see how these two communities of gay and straight Christians can eventually be brought together - not through program or agenda but rather through relationship.
If that's what He's up to, then I'll go and do whatever He wants me to do. Even if that means going to a community of straight Asian Christians and for the first time offering myself authentically right from the start. I would make no effort to advertise the fact that I'm gay but I would make no effort to hide the fact either. I would allow myself to be known (organically and in due time) as the man that I am and if God sparks relationship between me and others then I trust that it will be mutually edifying.
But this comes with huge emotional and relational risk. I've no idea how I'll be received. I can say that the two people from this congregation that I've shared a meal with - dinner with the Life Development Pastor and lunch with the Small Groups Director - both received me with love and generous hearts. And I can call them friends. But I've got my share of baggage. My hope is simply to be known in safe ways and to know others in safe ways.
Honestly, though, I don't enter into this without my own hypocrisy. I speak a lot about the need for reconciliation and for the most part I've seen that in my life more and more. But very recently, only a week and a half ago, a friend that I've known for almost ten years betrayed my trust and I've been having a difficult time forgiving him - much less giving him the time of day or releasing his "blocked" status from my Facebook.
Boy, I'm telling you that actually living out this life with Jesus is tough! It's one thing to go through the motions on Sunday morning but it's absolutely another thing to be owning His life as mine.
The pastor at Newsong Church is Dave Gibbons. I don't know too much about his celebrity but I gather that the work and ministry that he's done for the Lord has been noticed in evangelical Christendom. He's also got a new book out called "The Monkey and the Fish: Liquid Leadership for a Third Culture Church" which I'm very interested in reading since much of what I've heard has resonated with my paradigm of Church. This morning, he shared several points with the congregation while introducing the eastern story of The Monkey and the Fish. In a nutshell, the story tells of a typhoon raging and the monkey who sees the fish in the water. With good intentions, the monkey tried to "save" the fish by picking it up out of the water. The pet fish died and the monkey is an idiot. (That last part was my own, sorry Dave.)
So when I think about the Church on the issue of gays both in the congregation and in the community, some people can be a big monkey trying to help their pet fish and just makes things worse.
Ex-gay programs, exorcisms, reparative therapy, ex-communication from church or being disowned from the family.
The Church has left in its wake people like me who cry on the way to their precious "church services" or on the way home or in the shower or any where else where we feel completely alone.
But we are no one's pet and none of us wants to be someone's project.
While Dave didn't specifically reference the gay thing in his message, I think it can be applied. Straight Christians can do a world of good by simply putting the halo on the shelf, getting in the water, and experiencing empathy for what it's like to be gay - both in the congregation and in the community. In Dave's message, he talked about how this will require people to be in painful adaptation - the notion that it is going to be absolutely uncomfortable, will require a commitment to staying in the water (in relationship), and operating with the truth that Jesus is already present and that it's okay to step aside and just watch.
There's only room for One Savior in this Church.
So let's not mess up what Jesus is doing by throwing ourselves in before assessing how Jesus wants to use us productively.
On the flip side to this whole message is that I feel like God was telling me that not only am I the fish but that God was leading me to be of help to the monkey. It's not about the monkey being productively helpful to the poor fish. It's about the monkey being humble enough to realize that he could possibly use some help from the fish.
But how do you tell a fish that he can help the same monkey that tried to drown him with oxygen in the first place?
I guess that's where I find myself at right now.
I believe that I am a child of God, a member of His Church, who is not only valued and loved but is also useful and qualified for serving in His Kingdom. Am I willing to take the same humble approach of not simply trying to save the Church from its arrogant ways as if I'm some sort of twisted savior, but instead am I willing to build relationship with other straight Christians to actually appreciate their well-intentioned hearts and to earn the kind of trust in these relationships that grants me the privilege of speaking into a person's life?
It's the same approach that I would want from straight Christians to gay people. It seems only fair and reasonable that we would each share a stance of common humility.
Gosh, I can see the transforming power of reconciliation through relationships that God can do in healing His own Church - answering the prayers from both "sides". And what a testimony it could be to the world to show that even the Church can learn to forgive itself.
That kind of credibility would go a long way towards us being seen and even welcomed again as ambassadors of reconciliation.
[Be sure to check out Two World Collision Collaborative Christian Community for both gay and straight Journey Christians.]
Monday, December 29, 2008
Ten Lessons Along the Adventure of My Life
It's been a long and amazing year! What started off to be a year-end blog post ended up becoming way too long to put up here on the blog. So I posted it at our www.TwoWorldCollision.com site for more flexibility.
I begin with talking about the projects that I've been a part of this year. Then I share the details of the amazing summer adventure that I had in August when I ran into a super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy in the middle of a hawaiian jungle.
It was the adventure of my life and through the experience I pulled out ten life lessons for the journey.
Check it out here:
Two World Collision: Ten Lessons Along the Adventure of My Life
Cheers to an awesome 2008!
Blessings!
Eric
I begin with talking about the projects that I've been a part of this year. Then I share the details of the amazing summer adventure that I had in August when I ran into a super cute hot buck-naked golden tan blond haired North Carolina guy in the middle of a hawaiian jungle.
It was the adventure of my life and through the experience I pulled out ten life lessons for the journey.
Check it out here:
Two World Collision: Ten Lessons Along the Adventure of My Life
Cheers to an awesome 2008!
Blessings!
Eric
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Another Shot Fired
Another shot fired.
The Pope made a controversial comment that many are interpreting as hostile towards gays. Here's an article from BBC.
[Edit #1: Yeah, I realize the Pope was talking about behavior and not people, but let's be honest. The vast majority of gay and straight people will not make that distinction.]
[Edit #2: I decided to make another edit to the sentences above and below because I can acknowledge that it wasn't consistent with the heart of the message in this post.]
The culture war over beliefs and interpretations about sexuality and justice continue to rage on and both sides will continue their own version of a witch hunt. In the last two months, we've gone from Proposition 8 passing in California, to national protests to repeal Prop 8, to Rick Warren being selected for Obama's inaugural invocation (in my opinion, a premature gesture for the appearance of bridge building without first establishing relationship so that the selection would make sense), to coordinated responses by HRC and other organizations calling on Obama to affirm a commitment to GLBT justice and equality, to the Pope addressing Cardinals and staff (and essentially the world) making more comments against homosexuality.
This war must end.
Dignity and respect has nothing to do with our own personal opinions about things we disagree on. At the very least, we need civility. The ideal would be love, but perhaps that's too much to ask for during this holiday season. Each of us needs to consider the impact of our words - especially if, from our perspective, our intent is good.
We cannot continue to hurt each other.
We must elevate the conversation beyond the politics of our differences. Now more than ever do we need to create a space beyond the framework of "I believe this and you believe that". We need to create a space where we can come together based on what we have in common, not on what we don't have in common. We need people, both gay and straight, willing to become "Journey Christians".
If this is you, then be part of what we're trying to do at www.TwoWorldCollision.com.
The Pope made a controversial comment that many are interpreting as hostile towards gays. Here's an article from BBC.
[Edit #1: Yeah, I realize the Pope was talking about behavior and not people, but let's be honest. The vast majority of gay and straight people will not make that distinction.]
[Edit #2: I decided to make another edit to the sentences above and below because I can acknowledge that it wasn't consistent with the heart of the message in this post.]
The culture war over beliefs and interpretations about sexuality and justice continue to rage on and both sides will continue their own version of a witch hunt. In the last two months, we've gone from Proposition 8 passing in California, to national protests to repeal Prop 8, to Rick Warren being selected for Obama's inaugural invocation (in my opinion, a premature gesture for the appearance of bridge building without first establishing relationship so that the selection would make sense), to coordinated responses by HRC and other organizations calling on Obama to affirm a commitment to GLBT justice and equality, to the Pope addressing Cardinals and staff (and essentially the world) making more comments against homosexuality.
This war must end.
Dignity and respect has nothing to do with our own personal opinions about things we disagree on. At the very least, we need civility. The ideal would be love, but perhaps that's too much to ask for during this holiday season. Each of us needs to consider the impact of our words - especially if, from our perspective, our intent is good.
We cannot continue to hurt each other.
We must elevate the conversation beyond the politics of our differences. Now more than ever do we need to create a space beyond the framework of "I believe this and you believe that". We need to create a space where we can come together based on what we have in common, not on what we don't have in common. We need people, both gay and straight, willing to become "Journey Christians".
If this is you, then be part of what we're trying to do at www.TwoWorldCollision.com.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Disco Christmas
Merry Christmas from me, ate Jayson, Whistler (Michael), Howie, and Earl!
Send your own ElfYourself eCards
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Sock Me in the Stomach Three More Times
How to Deal with Unrequited Love
The Space Goes Down
by Goodbye Elliott
the space goes down…
sock me in the stomach three more times.
then ride with me into the sun,
forget your plans,
and forget you already have someone
cause grace bestows the morning light,
upon the grace of those who choose,
to live a life, with absolutely nothing to lose.
so sock me in the stomach three more times,
sock me in the stomach three more times,
then walk away and forget, forget, and act just fine.
i think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
i think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
and forget, and forget, and forget (i lost you)
so take your ideas of autumn in california,
and leave me with my hopes of what could’ve, should’ve happened,
and don’t care about my dreams
cause nothing is ever what it seems,
so eat your words and drink your lines,
and toast to love and all the good times,
and bless the chase that brought out the best in you,
but the worst in me,
the best in you,
and a few good songs.
then you sock me in the stomach three more times,
you sock me in the stomach three more times,
and walk away and forget, and forget, then act just fine.
i think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
and forget, and forget, and forget
cause i don’t want to ruin what you have,
if you're happy that's the plan,
so i guess it comes to you never knowing
how in love with you i am,
and i don’t want to ruin what you have,
cause if you're happy that's the plan,
so i guess it comes to you never knowing
how completely in love i am,
so take your ideas of autumn in california,
and leave me with my hopes of what could’ve, should’ve happened,
and don’t care about my dreams
no nothing is ever what it seems,
I read it. I said it. I stole my momma’s credit. Yeah I’m cool. I’m hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times.
lyrics
The Space Goes Down
by Goodbye Elliott
the space goes down…
sock me in the stomach three more times.
then ride with me into the sun,
forget your plans,
and forget you already have someone
cause grace bestows the morning light,
upon the grace of those who choose,
to live a life, with absolutely nothing to lose.
so sock me in the stomach three more times,
sock me in the stomach three more times,
then walk away and forget, forget, and act just fine.
i think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
i think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
and forget, and forget, and forget (i lost you)
so take your ideas of autumn in california,
and leave me with my hopes of what could’ve, should’ve happened,
and don’t care about my dreams
cause nothing is ever what it seems,
so eat your words and drink your lines,
and toast to love and all the good times,
and bless the chase that brought out the best in you,
but the worst in me,
the best in you,
and a few good songs.
then you sock me in the stomach three more times,
you sock me in the stomach three more times,
and walk away and forget, and forget, then act just fine.
i think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
and forget, and forget, and forget
cause i don’t want to ruin what you have,
if you're happy that's the plan,
so i guess it comes to you never knowing
how in love with you i am,
and i don’t want to ruin what you have,
cause if you're happy that's the plan,
so i guess it comes to you never knowing
how completely in love i am,
so take your ideas of autumn in california,
and leave me with my hopes of what could’ve, should’ve happened,
and don’t care about my dreams
no nothing is ever what it seems,
I read it. I said it. I stole my momma’s credit. Yeah I’m cool. I’m hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times.
lyrics
Sunday, December 07, 2008
TWC Featured Question: What Does a Gay Christian Look Like?
Our next featured question over at our Two World Collision Collaborative Community site is:
"What does a gay Christian look like?"
Instead of a written explanation, I'm interested in seeing this question answered visually. Share your photos of a service project or worship service or anything that shows a gay person living out a lifestyle of faith.
Go here to www.TwoWorldCollision.com to answer the featured question.
"What does a gay Christian look like?"
Instead of a written explanation, I'm interested in seeing this question answered visually. Share your photos of a service project or worship service or anything that shows a gay person living out a lifestyle of faith.
Go here to www.TwoWorldCollision.com to answer the featured question.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Journey Christians: Beyond the Side A/B/X Framework
I've often said that we are not alone. Along my own journey, I've been blessed to have encountered straight Christians who have been supportive of my story. That doesn't necessarily mean that they all believed that being gay is or is not a sin. Just that they've all been supportive. As my friend Andy often says, there's a difference between validating a person's experiences (by acknowledging them) and affirming a person's belief system (by sharing them).
If we're ever to elevate the conversation beyond the politics of our differences, we need an alternative space for conservative/traditional straight Christians to be able to walk with us who are either not straight or not conservative or not traditional . . . .
I still maintain that the Side X culture and ex-gay programs do more harm than good. They communicate the mixed message of God's unconditional love with the Church's conditional acceptance, and the historical result of such a culture is that it traumatizes individuals into a closet of shame and secrecy (and suicide) and has left many in its wake feeling spiritually abused. I believe that the Side X culture and ex-gay programs attack our self-esteem, self-image, self-confidence, and self-worth.
[Click here if you are unfamiliar with my use of the Side A, Side B, Side X Spectrum of Perspectives.]
I respect that many of us have a difference of perspective, opinion, and interpretation regarding the issue of faith and sexuality. That's okay. I think the Church needs to learn how to disagree with itself. My pal Ryan and I developed the term "swervemat" to describe "a learning space where one explores various viewpoints of a relevant subject in order to gain perspective."
But what alternative is there for straight Christians who lean more on the Side X part of the spectrum and can't exactly affirm a Side A or Side B stance on the issue but at the same time recognize that the broader Church needs to get away from the terrorism of Side X?
I've come to realize more and more that there are straight and gay Christians who are what I call "Journey Christians". These are believers who don't primarily use the Side A, Side B, Side X framework. For these Journey Christians, they engage in relationships without the lens of sin/not sin. They interact on a completely different plane and paradigm where a person's viewpoint about the issue of being gay and being Christian is less relevant than the fact that every person is worth knowing. And so they are willing to walk with others along the journey of their lives without precondition of purity or shared perspective.
It seems too simplistic for some "Side - ?" Christians to accept that these Journey Christians are simply building relationships on love. It sounds almost too intangible. But the fact remains that they live out the truth of our common faith in Christ with a consistent message of both unconditional love from God and an unconditional acceptance from God's people. They leave the judging to the Judge because they realize that condemning another individual of whom Christ died for is way above their pay grade. As believers, it's simply not our place to do such a thing.
All of us have been charged to love God and to love one another (the Greatest commandments) and then also show others to do the same (the Great Commission). So where ever any of us land on the spectrum of perspectives, it really doesn't matter in light of the fact that we are to engage in authentic relationships that are shaped not by our opinions on issues but rather shaped by our love.
That doesn't seem so hard. What does this look like?
1. Give each other the freedom to journey with God.
We need to keep pointing each other to Christ and get out of the way. We need to restrain ourselves from molding someone into the image of what we think they should be. We need to learn how to walk with one another without telling each other what to do. If we point people to the Counselor, instead of arrogantly counseling them with our own answers, then we more effectively disciple one another how to nurture our direct communication with God. That's more important than simply providing a temporary seemingly good answer. It's better for us to encourage each other to present God with our questions than to seek our friends for the answers. Let go. Trust Jesus enough to talk to His own.
2. Be willing to journey with each other.
Relationships take investment - of time, of energy, of heart. Our challenge is to love beyond our surface interactions and to explore what it looks like to walk through life with one another. Celebrate in each other's joys. Can it be enough for me to be happy that you are happy without the precondition of me agreeing with what you're happy about? Let's support a family member or friend in the things that they are excited about. On the flip side, grieve in each other's sorrows. Life isn't always about celebration. It's a struggle too! Let's share in each other's disappointments. Walking with each other through life means communicating through our actions that we are not alone.
3. Love without agenda.
We are the Church. And as the Church, we are to live a lifestyle of faith beyond the box of our religious routines. Let's explore ways of expressing tangible love. This could include hugging someone or putting your hand on someone's shoulder as they "come out" to you. Show the person tangibly that they are not unclean and that you are not afraid to touch them. Let them know that Christ loves them and that they are worthy to approach God with their questions. Encourage them to invite our Lord into their process. Just love without a (straight/Christian) conversion agenda. Tangible love builds relationship.
4. Subject ourselves to our own mirror
We need to stop looking at what we think is wrong in others and love them without precondition. We can remain humble by continually examining ourselves for correction instead of "lovingly" telling others what they need to correct. I can hardly see your sin because my own huge sin is blocking my view.
5. Experience empathy not pity
There is much hurt in the gay/gay Christian community. If we are to walk with one another, gay or straight, we need to empathize with each other's stories. We need to share in the painful experiences of others so that we can love more sincerely. For too long, the words and actions of God's people has caused hurt in already fragile people and has forced God's loved ones emotionally and spiritually farther away from Him. Cry when I cry. Get mad when I get mad. Show me that you'd rather be on my side instead of a Side A/B/X. It's personal. So get personal. Stand up for me. Don't tolerate it when someone else dehumanizes me. Remind me that Christ's love gives me human dignity. Then model it.
These are some tangible ways that Journey Christians can function above and beyond the Side A/B/X framework. Something has to change. We cannot continue this cyclical war of perspectives within the Church because it is hindering our effectiveness in being a witness of God's love. We cannot continue the Side X culture that communicates an inconsistent message of love. We have to shift the cultural paradigm of the broader Church to one that centers on our common faith in Christ and respects the individual faith journeys of all Christ's believers.
There is a better Way.
Go to www.TwoWorldCollision.com to see a community of Journey Christians.
If we're ever to elevate the conversation beyond the politics of our differences, we need an alternative space for conservative/traditional straight Christians to be able to walk with us who are either not straight or not conservative or not traditional . . . .
I still maintain that the Side X culture and ex-gay programs do more harm than good. They communicate the mixed message of God's unconditional love with the Church's conditional acceptance, and the historical result of such a culture is that it traumatizes individuals into a closet of shame and secrecy (and suicide) and has left many in its wake feeling spiritually abused. I believe that the Side X culture and ex-gay programs attack our self-esteem, self-image, self-confidence, and self-worth.
[Click here if you are unfamiliar with my use of the Side A, Side B, Side X Spectrum of Perspectives.]
I respect that many of us have a difference of perspective, opinion, and interpretation regarding the issue of faith and sexuality. That's okay. I think the Church needs to learn how to disagree with itself. My pal Ryan and I developed the term "swervemat" to describe "a learning space where one explores various viewpoints of a relevant subject in order to gain perspective."
But what alternative is there for straight Christians who lean more on the Side X part of the spectrum and can't exactly affirm a Side A or Side B stance on the issue but at the same time recognize that the broader Church needs to get away from the terrorism of Side X?
I've come to realize more and more that there are straight and gay Christians who are what I call "Journey Christians". These are believers who don't primarily use the Side A, Side B, Side X framework. For these Journey Christians, they engage in relationships without the lens of sin/not sin. They interact on a completely different plane and paradigm where a person's viewpoint about the issue of being gay and being Christian is less relevant than the fact that every person is worth knowing. And so they are willing to walk with others along the journey of their lives without precondition of purity or shared perspective.
It seems too simplistic for some "Side - ?" Christians to accept that these Journey Christians are simply building relationships on love. It sounds almost too intangible. But the fact remains that they live out the truth of our common faith in Christ with a consistent message of both unconditional love from God and an unconditional acceptance from God's people. They leave the judging to the Judge because they realize that condemning another individual of whom Christ died for is way above their pay grade. As believers, it's simply not our place to do such a thing.
All of us have been charged to love God and to love one another (the Greatest commandments) and then also show others to do the same (the Great Commission). So where ever any of us land on the spectrum of perspectives, it really doesn't matter in light of the fact that we are to engage in authentic relationships that are shaped not by our opinions on issues but rather shaped by our love.
That doesn't seem so hard. What does this look like?
1. Give each other the freedom to journey with God.
We need to keep pointing each other to Christ and get out of the way. We need to restrain ourselves from molding someone into the image of what we think they should be. We need to learn how to walk with one another without telling each other what to do. If we point people to the Counselor, instead of arrogantly counseling them with our own answers, then we more effectively disciple one another how to nurture our direct communication with God. That's more important than simply providing a temporary seemingly good answer. It's better for us to encourage each other to present God with our questions than to seek our friends for the answers. Let go. Trust Jesus enough to talk to His own.
2. Be willing to journey with each other.
Relationships take investment - of time, of energy, of heart. Our challenge is to love beyond our surface interactions and to explore what it looks like to walk through life with one another. Celebrate in each other's joys. Can it be enough for me to be happy that you are happy without the precondition of me agreeing with what you're happy about? Let's support a family member or friend in the things that they are excited about. On the flip side, grieve in each other's sorrows. Life isn't always about celebration. It's a struggle too! Let's share in each other's disappointments. Walking with each other through life means communicating through our actions that we are not alone.
3. Love without agenda.
We are the Church. And as the Church, we are to live a lifestyle of faith beyond the box of our religious routines. Let's explore ways of expressing tangible love. This could include hugging someone or putting your hand on someone's shoulder as they "come out" to you. Show the person tangibly that they are not unclean and that you are not afraid to touch them. Let them know that Christ loves them and that they are worthy to approach God with their questions. Encourage them to invite our Lord into their process. Just love without a (straight/Christian) conversion agenda. Tangible love builds relationship.
4. Subject ourselves to our own mirror
We need to stop looking at what we think is wrong in others and love them without precondition. We can remain humble by continually examining ourselves for correction instead of "lovingly" telling others what they need to correct. I can hardly see your sin because my own huge sin is blocking my view.
5. Experience empathy not pity
There is much hurt in the gay/gay Christian community. If we are to walk with one another, gay or straight, we need to empathize with each other's stories. We need to share in the painful experiences of others so that we can love more sincerely. For too long, the words and actions of God's people has caused hurt in already fragile people and has forced God's loved ones emotionally and spiritually farther away from Him. Cry when I cry. Get mad when I get mad. Show me that you'd rather be on my side instead of a Side A/B/X. It's personal. So get personal. Stand up for me. Don't tolerate it when someone else dehumanizes me. Remind me that Christ's love gives me human dignity. Then model it.
These are some tangible ways that Journey Christians can function above and beyond the Side A/B/X framework. Something has to change. We cannot continue this cyclical war of perspectives within the Church because it is hindering our effectiveness in being a witness of God's love. We cannot continue the Side X culture that communicates an inconsistent message of love. We have to shift the cultural paradigm of the broader Church to one that centers on our common faith in Christ and respects the individual faith journeys of all Christ's believers.
There is a better Way.
Go to www.TwoWorldCollision.com to see a community of Journey Christians.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
www.TwoWorldCollision.com
Hi everyone,
I just wanted to announce our new domain for our collaborative community web site that we launched last week. So now, you can go to:
http://www.TwoWorldCollision.com
From there, you can have a member profile and connect with others, participate in the discussion forum, advertise your blog, post your own articles, or share web sites, links, and resources that you have found useful for your own journey. Our TWC collaborative community is a place where we all contribute and share parts of our journeys together so that we can encourage more and more people out there that none of us are alone.
Once you're there, be sure to get a member login, then invite your friends! You can even email specific pages to friends too!
I hope to see you there!
I just wanted to announce our new domain for our collaborative community web site that we launched last week. So now, you can go to:
http://www.TwoWorldCollision.com
From there, you can have a member profile and connect with others, participate in the discussion forum, advertise your blog, post your own articles, or share web sites, links, and resources that you have found useful for your own journey. Our TWC collaborative community is a place where we all contribute and share parts of our journeys together so that we can encourage more and more people out there that none of us are alone.
Once you're there, be sure to get a member login, then invite your friends! You can even email specific pages to friends too!
I hope to see you there!
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
TWC Featured Question: Being in the Closet
We've got a featured question over at our Two World Collision Collaborative Community site. Go on over and share your experiences!
"What are some ways that being in the closet (either now or in the past) has affected the decisions you make now?"
Go here to answer the question or read other responses.
"What are some ways that being in the closet (either now or in the past) has affected the decisions you make now?"
Go here to answer the question or read other responses.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
New TWC Collaborative Community
Three years and four months ago I started Two World Collision to chronicle my journey of reconciling my faith and sexuality. At first I was anonymous and was able to process my raw thoughts about questions and answers, sex and relationships, love and lust, sin and biblical interpretation, the spectrum of perspectives, my paradigm of Church, community and vision.
Along the way my journey towards Christ evolved from seeking clarity to seeking authenticity. In walking with Jesus, I found the peace of God's love and was able to find a cohesion of my two worlds - exploring what it looks like to live a vibrant faith and a healthy sexuality. I say that not in the context that I have achieved those two things, but rather that my direction is shaped by my desire for both those two things.
I still have a lot to learn.
I've had the opportunity to share my story in a variety of ways besides this blog. I've written my story in narrative form. I've told my story through audio podcast interviews. I've shared my story in newspaper publications and magazines. I've given my story on Youtube video. I've contributed my story on other web sites. I've even shared my story at public events (which I'm hoping to do more!). I'm currently working on sharing my story in a series of three books (stay tuned and pray for me in that please).
But along the way of sharing my story more and more openly and authentically, I've encountered so many friends on this same path with Christ. We've discovered that we are not alone.
For some time now, I've wanted to make a shift here at Two World Collision from me telling my story to you telling your story. I've been humbled to have received emails from around the world these past three years from people who have read my blog, cried, related, and reached out to me. It's been amazing to see what God has done through this. I've also encountered fellow bloggers who are also sharing their story. We all have a story. We all can find some parts of someone else's story that we can relate with. I think it's important for people out there to realize that there are people like you and I who have reconciled our faith and sexuality or that there are others on a similar journey. There are too many of us that feel alone.
So I decided to establish a space for us to build a sense of community with fellow sojourners. Alas, I am proud to announce the evolution of the Two World Collision blog to the Two World Collision Collaborative Community. It's a web site where we all help shape. Each of us contributes content to it - our stories, our blogs, our videos, our artwork, our research, our reviews and anything else we have found helpful for our own journeys so that we can pass it along to help someone else's journey. It's also a place where we can talk through discussion boards, connect with others through their profiles, and share photos.
Don't worry, I'll still have this blog to process my own thoughts and share vision.
So go ahead! Get on over to "our" space at http://twoworldcollision.wetpaint.com!
And be sure to use the "Invite" to tell your friends to join us too!
Along the way my journey towards Christ evolved from seeking clarity to seeking authenticity. In walking with Jesus, I found the peace of God's love and was able to find a cohesion of my two worlds - exploring what it looks like to live a vibrant faith and a healthy sexuality. I say that not in the context that I have achieved those two things, but rather that my direction is shaped by my desire for both those two things.
I still have a lot to learn.
I've had the opportunity to share my story in a variety of ways besides this blog. I've written my story in narrative form. I've told my story through audio podcast interviews. I've shared my story in newspaper publications and magazines. I've given my story on Youtube video. I've contributed my story on other web sites. I've even shared my story at public events (which I'm hoping to do more!). I'm currently working on sharing my story in a series of three books (stay tuned and pray for me in that please).
But along the way of sharing my story more and more openly and authentically, I've encountered so many friends on this same path with Christ. We've discovered that we are not alone.
For some time now, I've wanted to make a shift here at Two World Collision from me telling my story to you telling your story. I've been humbled to have received emails from around the world these past three years from people who have read my blog, cried, related, and reached out to me. It's been amazing to see what God has done through this. I've also encountered fellow bloggers who are also sharing their story. We all have a story. We all can find some parts of someone else's story that we can relate with. I think it's important for people out there to realize that there are people like you and I who have reconciled our faith and sexuality or that there are others on a similar journey. There are too many of us that feel alone.
So I decided to establish a space for us to build a sense of community with fellow sojourners. Alas, I am proud to announce the evolution of the Two World Collision blog to the Two World Collision Collaborative Community. It's a web site where we all help shape. Each of us contributes content to it - our stories, our blogs, our videos, our artwork, our research, our reviews and anything else we have found helpful for our own journeys so that we can pass it along to help someone else's journey. It's also a place where we can talk through discussion boards, connect with others through their profiles, and share photos.
Don't worry, I'll still have this blog to process my own thoughts and share vision.
So go ahead! Get on over to "our" space at http://twoworldcollision.wetpaint.com!
And be sure to use the "Invite" to tell your friends to join us too!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Elevating The Conversation
People are talking. People are shouting. People are texting. People are blogging. People are facebooking. People are YouTubing.
We are all experiencing our own reactions after last week's passing of Proposition 8 in California ranging from anger, outrage, sadness, fatigue, frustration and motivation. And we're all trying to find ways of processing what's happened - of appreciating the gravity of what has happened. What seemed to be such a loss for us, having one of our constitutional rights eliminated from us by 52% of voters, is proving to be a catalyst for an unstoppable grassroots organic movement for Marriage Equality.
The conversation is happening and the seeds for bridge building are being planted.
The nation is entering a sort of Hot Zone - "that place of conversation where the issue of gays and family are no longer the taboo subject". The fabulous pink elephant has burst its way out of the closet and into national attention and it's forcing people to finally consider the question that they previously preferred never to think or talk about:
Should my gay neighbor, friend, or family member have the right to marry whomever they choose despite my own beliefs about marriage?
We have been called to mobilize in order to advance the conversation. We have been called to gather in order to elevate the conversation . . . .
There needs to be systemic change and a cultural shift in our society. As we advance the conversation in every household asking our neighbors to hear us, consider us, and to empathize with us, in our lifetime we will see the American experiment of liberty prove itself faithful to its citizens once again.
Once it was clear that Prop 8 passed, protests of hundreds and thousands each erupted almost daily throughout the state of California immediately after the election. And now the first nation wide and global response has arrived, 6 months after the California Supreme Court ruled that it is unconstitutional to have two "separate but equal" designations for relationships. Today, Saturday, November 15, 2008 at City Halls in every state throughout the country, as well as in other countries around the world (Australia, Belgium, Canada, China, France, Japan, The Netherlands, Portugal, Puerto Rico, and the UK), we come together for a simultaneous protest against Prop 8 and in support of our neighbors. Go to Join The Impact here.
While 52% of voters chose to approve of it, the world continues to rally together to say, "what the hell were you thinking?"
So let's get our heads out of the sand and have some much needed conversation. Advancing the conversation brings it to the forefront. Elevating the conversation changes the impact.
On one front, political activists and organizers are working together to advance the conversation - to bring the issue to national attention. On another front, the relational catalysts are working together to elevate the conversation - to build bridges between communities that disagree so that a productive and safe dialogue can emerge - the kind that will end this war.
Now more than ever do we need to elevate the conversation within the broader Church regarding GLBT individuals in our congregations and in our communities. I am part of a Coalition of Bridge Builders that is facilitating a safe and productive dialogue between those who are both conservative (traditional) and inclusive (accepting) on this issue.
For the last two months, we started with two round table discussions with pastors and leaders from both the conservative and inclusive groups. (Read about the September session here and the October session here.) We discovered that there is a common willingness to stay in the conversation, and even further, to attempt to elevate the conversation beyond the politics of our differences.
These are some very good initial steps considering it began during the YES/NO campaigns for/against Prop 8 before the election, and now we're trying to figure out how to encourage people to stay in the conversation after the election - raw emotions and all!
We realize that both groups need a preparatory process in order to get to a point of being ready to engage in a safe and productive dialogue with each other. We are honoring this process by being patient with it - allowing time for trust and relationship to build within each group, then to begin to build trust and relationship with the other group.
We're using this bridge building framework to elevate the conversation:
1. Common Ground - shifting our focus towards the things that we do have in common.
2. Common Grace - meeting together in a space of humility and the Greatest Commandments - to love God and one another.
3. Common Purpose - working for the same mission, the Great Commission of making disciples of Christ and his love.
This conversation is not debate. On the contrary, I believe that if we can reframe this controversial issue, then we can elevate the conversation to something safe and productive.
While the national and global protest happens simultaneously today at City Halls around the nation and world, the Coalition of Bridge Builders will be doing our part by having a day of two follow up events. The first, during the morning and afternoon (as the protests happen) the conservative group of pastors, leaders and lay leaders will come together for an event called "Elevating the Conversation" that will help them to reframe the way they approach GLBT folks in their ministry context.
It is during this time, after lunch, when I will have the opportunity to share my story and journey of being both gay and Christian with about 60 conservative church leaders (who likely voted Yes on Prop 8), and then field their questions (or dodge their stones). Yikes!
My heart would really love to be at City Hall here in my city of Long Beach, CA along with the rest of my brothers and sisters around the world speaking out in protest. But at the same time, my spirit tells me that I'm needed elsewhere for a different role with my other brothers and sisters of the faith to hopefully catalyze a sense of empathy for our stories and lives. So on two fronts, we cry out for dignity, demand justice, and ask that our sibling rivalry come to an end.
Our second follow up event will come this evening for a dinner gathering of inclusive pastors, leaders and lay leaders. This will be an opportunity of building relationship and trust among other like-minded people who share the hurt and anger and excitement for the times we are currently in. Our goal in this fellowship is that each leader would choose to be willing to stay in the conversation and not to detach because of the hurt. We are a community wounded by our spiritual brethren, and it's all too easy for us to check out.
The reason why I am staying in the conversation (besides the fact that God is prompting me to) is the realization that if no one is in conversation, then nothing changes in the church. In order for any kind of bridge building to take place, both sides of that bridge need to be present. We have to be present so that we can make sure our hurt is acknowledged, our stories are heard, and our witness of God in our lives is undeniable.
Whether building bridges with church leaders, your neighbors, your family members, your co-workers, or anyone else in the community of whom you disagree with, will you stay in the conversation?
This war must end.
I see a two-pronged approach to ending these battles that have been leaving too many casualties behind. Together, political activists and organizers who are working to advance the conversation so that the issue can be brought to the forefront, and also relational catalysts who are working to elevate the conversation so that the issue can be reframed in a way that leads to safe and productive dialogue.
The trust for each other and those at the other end of the table is a gradual process that will be earned and given in time. However, we all trust God - that at the end of the day, He's very much concerned with bringing unity within His Church.
Just like the Marriage Equality Movement is advancing across the country because of California's successful mobilization, our bridge building efforts to facilitate this dialogue here, will advance among churches across the country.
We just need to show them that it's possible.
We are all experiencing our own reactions after last week's passing of Proposition 8 in California ranging from anger, outrage, sadness, fatigue, frustration and motivation. And we're all trying to find ways of processing what's happened - of appreciating the gravity of what has happened. What seemed to be such a loss for us, having one of our constitutional rights eliminated from us by 52% of voters, is proving to be a catalyst for an unstoppable grassroots organic movement for Marriage Equality.
The conversation is happening and the seeds for bridge building are being planted.
The nation is entering a sort of Hot Zone - "that place of conversation where the issue of gays and family are no longer the taboo subject". The fabulous pink elephant has burst its way out of the closet and into national attention and it's forcing people to finally consider the question that they previously preferred never to think or talk about:
Should my gay neighbor, friend, or family member have the right to marry whomever they choose despite my own beliefs about marriage?
We have been called to mobilize in order to advance the conversation. We have been called to gather in order to elevate the conversation . . . .
There needs to be systemic change and a cultural shift in our society. As we advance the conversation in every household asking our neighbors to hear us, consider us, and to empathize with us, in our lifetime we will see the American experiment of liberty prove itself faithful to its citizens once again.
Once it was clear that Prop 8 passed, protests of hundreds and thousands each erupted almost daily throughout the state of California immediately after the election. And now the first nation wide and global response has arrived, 6 months after the California Supreme Court ruled that it is unconstitutional to have two "separate but equal" designations for relationships. Today, Saturday, November 15, 2008 at City Halls in every state throughout the country, as well as in other countries around the world (Australia, Belgium, Canada, China, France, Japan, The Netherlands, Portugal, Puerto Rico, and the UK), we come together for a simultaneous protest against Prop 8 and in support of our neighbors. Go to Join The Impact here.
While 52% of voters chose to approve of it, the world continues to rally together to say, "what the hell were you thinking?"
So let's get our heads out of the sand and have some much needed conversation. Advancing the conversation brings it to the forefront. Elevating the conversation changes the impact.
On one front, political activists and organizers are working together to advance the conversation - to bring the issue to national attention. On another front, the relational catalysts are working together to elevate the conversation - to build bridges between communities that disagree so that a productive and safe dialogue can emerge - the kind that will end this war.
Now more than ever do we need to elevate the conversation within the broader Church regarding GLBT individuals in our congregations and in our communities. I am part of a Coalition of Bridge Builders that is facilitating a safe and productive dialogue between those who are both conservative (traditional) and inclusive (accepting) on this issue.
For the last two months, we started with two round table discussions with pastors and leaders from both the conservative and inclusive groups. (Read about the September session here and the October session here.) We discovered that there is a common willingness to stay in the conversation, and even further, to attempt to elevate the conversation beyond the politics of our differences.
These are some very good initial steps considering it began during the YES/NO campaigns for/against Prop 8 before the election, and now we're trying to figure out how to encourage people to stay in the conversation after the election - raw emotions and all!
We realize that both groups need a preparatory process in order to get to a point of being ready to engage in a safe and productive dialogue with each other. We are honoring this process by being patient with it - allowing time for trust and relationship to build within each group, then to begin to build trust and relationship with the other group.
We're using this bridge building framework to elevate the conversation:
1. Common Ground - shifting our focus towards the things that we do have in common.
2. Common Grace - meeting together in a space of humility and the Greatest Commandments - to love God and one another.
3. Common Purpose - working for the same mission, the Great Commission of making disciples of Christ and his love.
This conversation is not debate. On the contrary, I believe that if we can reframe this controversial issue, then we can elevate the conversation to something safe and productive.
While the national and global protest happens simultaneously today at City Halls around the nation and world, the Coalition of Bridge Builders will be doing our part by having a day of two follow up events. The first, during the morning and afternoon (as the protests happen) the conservative group of pastors, leaders and lay leaders will come together for an event called "Elevating the Conversation" that will help them to reframe the way they approach GLBT folks in their ministry context.
It is during this time, after lunch, when I will have the opportunity to share my story and journey of being both gay and Christian with about 60 conservative church leaders (who likely voted Yes on Prop 8), and then field their questions (or dodge their stones). Yikes!
My heart would really love to be at City Hall here in my city of Long Beach, CA along with the rest of my brothers and sisters around the world speaking out in protest. But at the same time, my spirit tells me that I'm needed elsewhere for a different role with my other brothers and sisters of the faith to hopefully catalyze a sense of empathy for our stories and lives. So on two fronts, we cry out for dignity, demand justice, and ask that our sibling rivalry come to an end.
Our second follow up event will come this evening for a dinner gathering of inclusive pastors, leaders and lay leaders. This will be an opportunity of building relationship and trust among other like-minded people who share the hurt and anger and excitement for the times we are currently in. Our goal in this fellowship is that each leader would choose to be willing to stay in the conversation and not to detach because of the hurt. We are a community wounded by our spiritual brethren, and it's all too easy for us to check out.
The reason why I am staying in the conversation (besides the fact that God is prompting me to) is the realization that if no one is in conversation, then nothing changes in the church. In order for any kind of bridge building to take place, both sides of that bridge need to be present. We have to be present so that we can make sure our hurt is acknowledged, our stories are heard, and our witness of God in our lives is undeniable.
Whether building bridges with church leaders, your neighbors, your family members, your co-workers, or anyone else in the community of whom you disagree with, will you stay in the conversation?
This war must end.
I see a two-pronged approach to ending these battles that have been leaving too many casualties behind. Together, political activists and organizers who are working to advance the conversation so that the issue can be brought to the forefront, and also relational catalysts who are working to elevate the conversation so that the issue can be reframed in a way that leads to safe and productive dialogue.
The trust for each other and those at the other end of the table is a gradual process that will be earned and given in time. However, we all trust God - that at the end of the day, He's very much concerned with bringing unity within His Church.
Just like the Marriage Equality Movement is advancing across the country because of California's successful mobilization, our bridge building efforts to facilitate this dialogue here, will advance among churches across the country.
We just need to show them that it's possible.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Approaching Relationships With Intentionality
These are some of my friends. I love them.They are unique and diverse, all full of talents and skills, beautiful both inside and out. This photo represents only a snapshot into several of my various communities of friends. People in this photo are young and old, male and female and transgender, single and coupled, latino, black, white, asian, pacific islander, gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, doctor, college grads, students, high school grads, multi-lingual, ESL, and of varying faith backgrounds. We are quite a hodge podge of diverse friends!
We were all gathered last night for dinner, celebrating my birthday. And so I took the opportunity to share my heart with them. (Keep reading further in this post to watch the video of that talk!)
There's been a lot going on in California lately and I've been excited to be a part of it with many of my friends. Many of us have been part of rallies, marches, phone banks, and volunteers to oppose the passing of Prop 8. It's personal for us because it's OUR rights that have been taken away from us or it's our LOVED ONES rights that have been taken away from them.
I've said before that I consider myself more of a relational catalyst than a political activist. The difference? In my view, a relational catalyst takes an organic approach to building bridges within a community by inspiring the development of meaningful relationships for the purpose of building a relational infrastructure within that community. In my view, a political activist takes a grassroots community organizing approach to rallying and mobilizing a community around a worthwhile cause.
I believe that both are essential to shifting our culture . . . .
The political activists and organizers work to affect the "power structures" that govern law and religion while using a unified arm of people to build national awareness and support and to confront opposition. The relational catalysts work to affect the "people structures" that comprise our communities, neighborhoods, and families while developing tangible relationships and connections between individuals across a region. Both kinds of people, the activists and the catalysts, work in tandem to shift paradigms, hearts, and attitudes. A person might be one or the other or both! And when we experience the collision of world views as we've seen between those who believe all people, gay and straight, have the equal right to marry versus those who believe that only straight people have the right to use the term marriage, the resulting clash brings intense hurt and anger - and in many cases irrationality.
As we're seeing the Marriage Equality Movement advancing forward to draw national attention, catalyzed by the passing of Prop 8 eliminating the rights of California's citizens, we are without a doubt witnessing history being written before our very eyes. In the past, we had the benefit of hindsight and history to teach us what sacrifices and advances had been made before us. However, as witnesses to current events, we have the unique opportunity of helping to shape the outcome.
In 2000, a similar initiative in California (Prop 22) banning same-sex marriage was approved and passed with 61% to 39%. Now, 8 years later Prop 8 passes barely with 52% to 48%. That's a huge indication of the shifting views in California culture - along with the mobilizing capabilities of organizers and advocates and allies. There are more and more people who are supporting equal rights for all people. The interesting thing to note is that seeing as how straight people are the majority, that means statistically most of that 48% who voted against Prop 8 were straight. There are millions of straight people who support us. The work of political activists and of relational catalysts, together, can help tip the scale in favor of equality the next time the public is asked to vote.
It does take some intentionality.
Right now, there are efforts to organize across the country to demonstrate peacefully against discrimination. You can be a part of it by passing the word along, going to rallies, marches and events, signing petitions, writing to elected officials, and speaking out to let your voice be heard.
But as a relational catalyst, what can you do?
Yesterday was my birthday and to celebrate I invited friends from several social circles that I'm connected with for a dinner at a restaurant. So I took the opportunity to share with them what I call the "Fabulous 5" things that they can do to approach their friendships with intentionality by being a relational catalyst. Here's the video of that talk:
The "Fabulous 5" to Being a Relational Catalyst:
1. Invest in 5 people not like you - build relationships with people who are different than you so that you can mutually learn from each other, hear each others stories, and begin to empathize with each others experiences.
2. Participate in neighborly service - identify a need that your neighbor has and serve that need by helping to fill it. You can also volunteer with community organizations. Mow your neighbor's lawn. Prepare a meal for an elderly or pregnant neighbor. Help pick up trash at the beach. Help build a home. This will help people to see that we are nothing to be afraid of. Rather, we are their fellow neighbors that can support them when they are in need.
3. Partner with other people who share your passion - find others who care about what you care about, then collaborate together to make a difference! Do you care about Marriage Equality, cancer, Substance abuse among teenagers, suicide prevention, HIV/AIDS prevention & education, or some other cause? I believe that we can do more together than we can separate. So find those who share your passion or cause and do it together.
4. Facilitate introductions - provide opportunities to introduce the new people that you are meeting with your broader group of friends. Let them connect with each other. Host a dinner party, plan an outdoors event, get a group of people together for a movie or a show.
5. Cast vision - speak into the relationships in your life and inspire people with a vision of community, collaboration and citizenship. Show people how they can connect with the people in their world and how they can affect their community together. Inspire them to be a relational catalyst.
The "Fabulous 5" are things that you can do over the next year to approach your friendships with intentionality and to help build a relational infrastructure throughout our community. Not only do we gain meaningful relationships, but when it comes time for the activists to call on us to mobilize, there will be more of us (catalysts and our relationships) in the community who can respond.
www.GoCatalyst.org
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Thursday, November 06, 2008
Snatched and Gay Bashed
STATE MEASURE - PROPOSITION 8: ELIMINATES RIGHT OF SAME-SEX COUPLES TO MARRY. INITIATIVE CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT. Changes California Constitution to eliminate the right of same-sex couples to marry. Provides that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California. Fiscal Impact: Over the next few years, potential revenue loss, mainly sales taxes, totaling in the several tens of millions of dollars, to state and local governments. In the long run, likely little fiscal impact on state or local governments.
It was surreal. I stood in the voting booth reading this ballot measure that put to a vote whether or not people approved the stripping of one of my constitutional rights. Articulated the way it was, I was sure that people would read it and be appalled at such a prospect. That in the year 2008, an American society would again allow the bullying and degradation of a minority group because they are different and have a different opinion about something. I was wrong.
YES - 52% NO - 48%
Perhaps many in the straight evangelical conservative sect of our Father's Church felt justified in leading such a charge in their self-righteous call to protect not families but their pharisaical traditional perspective at the expense of demoralizing and literally "invalidating" their neighbors.
They shall be accountable to God.
There is much hurt and anger that many of us are processing - both gay and straight. This wasn't just something that we were wanting and were told No. Rather, this was a Constitutional right that we already had and was taken away from us. Snatched and gay bashed. Ori and Rom Brafman in their book called SWAY say, "We experience the pain associated with a loss much more vividly than we do the joy of experiencing a gain."
I do feel robbed!
The thing that has been pissing me off, though, is the complete lack of empathy that I've been perceiving from those who approved of the discriminatory Constitutional amendment. The hypocrisy is unbelievable! One of my pet peeves is when someone projects the very stupid things that they themselves are doing but then accuse the "other side" of doing those stupid things. Seriously, I hate that! It's like....dude, take a look in the mirror - the thing you're complaining about, that's what YOU are doing!
It's like there's a proud haughtiness from people who minimize the pain they've contributed to in their neighbors by calling opponents to the Proposition "poor losers" when we rally to express our anger or move to appeal to the supreme court. Well hell, that's what the court is for! To step in when the majority continues to treat "fellow Californians" like second-class citizens.
Who knows how far the organizers and activists and lawyers will get with the courts. But I shall appeal to God. I ask that He would hear the cries of His people. I ask for His vindication and justice to prevail. I ask that He would intervene. I ask that He convict the hearts of those who have set such a poor example of love - those who hide behind their tradition as an excuse to close their eyes and ears and hearts and common sense from acknowledging the human dignity afforded to all people by God - and this country. Supposedly.
So yeah, I'm pissed. And right now I'm going to allow myself to be angry and to grieve and to vent so that I can appreciate the gravity of what's happened. I'm choosing to allow myself this time and this space, for now, so that then I can move on and move forward with the much needed task of bridge building, healing, forgiving, and vision-casting.
It was surreal. I stood in the voting booth reading this ballot measure that put to a vote whether or not people approved the stripping of one of my constitutional rights. Articulated the way it was, I was sure that people would read it and be appalled at such a prospect. That in the year 2008, an American society would again allow the bullying and degradation of a minority group because they are different and have a different opinion about something. I was wrong.
YES - 52% NO - 48%
Perhaps many in the straight evangelical conservative sect of our Father's Church felt justified in leading such a charge in their self-righteous call to protect not families but their pharisaical traditional perspective at the expense of demoralizing and literally "invalidating" their neighbors.
They shall be accountable to God.
There is much hurt and anger that many of us are processing - both gay and straight. This wasn't just something that we were wanting and were told No. Rather, this was a Constitutional right that we already had and was taken away from us. Snatched and gay bashed. Ori and Rom Brafman in their book called SWAY say, "We experience the pain associated with a loss much more vividly than we do the joy of experiencing a gain."
I do feel robbed!
The thing that has been pissing me off, though, is the complete lack of empathy that I've been perceiving from those who approved of the discriminatory Constitutional amendment. The hypocrisy is unbelievable! One of my pet peeves is when someone projects the very stupid things that they themselves are doing but then accuse the "other side" of doing those stupid things. Seriously, I hate that! It's like....dude, take a look in the mirror - the thing you're complaining about, that's what YOU are doing!
It's like there's a proud haughtiness from people who minimize the pain they've contributed to in their neighbors by calling opponents to the Proposition "poor losers" when we rally to express our anger or move to appeal to the supreme court. Well hell, that's what the court is for! To step in when the majority continues to treat "fellow Californians" like second-class citizens.
Who knows how far the organizers and activists and lawyers will get with the courts. But I shall appeal to God. I ask that He would hear the cries of His people. I ask for His vindication and justice to prevail. I ask that He would intervene. I ask that He convict the hearts of those who have set such a poor example of love - those who hide behind their tradition as an excuse to close their eyes and ears and hearts and common sense from acknowledging the human dignity afforded to all people by God - and this country. Supposedly.
So yeah, I'm pissed. And right now I'm going to allow myself to be angry and to grieve and to vent so that I can appreciate the gravity of what's happened. I'm choosing to allow myself this time and this space, for now, so that then I can move on and move forward with the much needed task of bridge building, healing, forgiving, and vision-casting.
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