The Passing of a Catalyst

The world obeserves the passing of Michael Jackson, a catalyst who reinvented pop culture and his own personal world and in the process connected millions of people around powerful messages and affected millions of lives in countless ways.

It must have been so lonely.



See lyrics below in this post . . . .

"Man In The Mirror"

I'm Gonna Make A Change, For Once In My Life
It's Gonna Feel Real Good, Gonna Make A Difference
Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat
This Wind Is Blowin' My Mind
I See The Kids In The Street, With Not Enough To Eat
Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See Their Needs
A Summer's Disregard, A Broken Bottle Top
And A One Man's Soul
They Follow Each Other On The Wind Ya' Know
'Cause They Got Nowhere To Go
That's Why I Want You To Know

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change
(Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah)

I've Been A Victim Of A Selfish Kind Of Love
It's Time That I Realize
That There Are Some With No Home, Not A Nickel To Loan
Could It Be Really Me, Pretending That They're Not Alone?

A Willow Deeply Scarred, Somebody's Broken Heart
And A Washed-Out Dream
They Follow The Pattern Of The Wind, Ya' See
Cause They Got No Place To Be
That's Why I'm Starting With Me

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make That . . .

Change!

I'm Starting With The Man In The Mirror,
I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make The Change
You Gotta Get It Right, While You Got The Time
'Cause When You Close Your Heart
You Can't Close Your . . .Your Mind!

That Man, That Man, That Man, That Man
With That Man In The Mirror
That Man, That Man, That Man I'm Asking Him To Change His Ways
You Know . . .That Man

No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
Take A Look At Yourself And Then Make A Change

Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah (Oh Yeah!)
Gonna Feel Real Good Now!
Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah! Yeah Yeah!
Na Na Na, Na Na Na, Na Na, Na Nah (Ooooh . . .)
Oh No, No No . . .
I'm Gonna Make A Change
It's Gonna Feel Real Good!
Come On! (Change . . .)
Just Lift Yourself You Know
You've Got To Stop It. Yourself!
(Yeah!-Make That Change!)
I've Got To Make That Change, Today!
Hoo! (Man In The Mirror)
You Got To, You Got To Not Let Yourself . . .
Brother . . . Hoo! (Yeah!-Make That Change!)
You Know-I've Got To Get That Man, That Man . . . (Man In The Mirror)
You've Got To, You've Got To Move! Come On! Come On!
You Got To . . . Stand Up! Stand Up! Stand Up! (Yeah-Make That Change)
Stand Up And Lift Yourself, Now!
(Man In The Mirror) Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Aaow! (Yeah-Make That Change)
Gonna Make That Change . . . Come On! (Man In The Mirror)
You Know It! You Know It! You Know It! You Know . . . (Change . . .)
Make That Change.

Disrespectful But With a Smile

I'm just gonna say this upfront - I reserve the right to vent on my own blog.

That said . . . . what the frickin' hell!?

I'm serious! I mean, really, how in the world can straight "professing Christians" smile with arrogance and then slap me in the face and think that they are doing the Lord's "good work"? I probably shouldn't say "Christians" because some of the people there were cool. It's more like this particular pastor of A Village Community here in Long Beach.

I literally wiped my feet on the mat, not before entering this "house of worship" but rather AS I LEFT this place.

"If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town." - Matthew 10:14

All through the service I kept mentally shaking my head at the things I was hearing . . . .

The whole service was about asking questions. People were asked to text message their questions. The pastor even started off with talking about "us having a conversation with each other." But instead of a discussion about the value of having questions or that we sometimes ask the wrong questions or what are the right kind of questions or at the very least having a discussion about the question - like I suppose I was expecting from this kind of a topic - instead, the pastor read off a question, answered it himself, then read off another question, then answered it himself, then read off another question, then answered it himself.....blah blah blah.

I mean seriously, who does he think he is that he's got all the answers according to his worldview?

And here's the kicker. After reading off a question that said, 'Does God love believers more than He does unbelievers?' he arrogantly and resolutely "ANSWERED" with an emphatic "YES".

Seriously. He said that there is scriptural evidence to suggest that God chooses some and does not choose others and that He loves some and does not love others. Seriously.

Now, yes, there's context to this whole thing. But that's still the bottom line of what he was saying. And I'm not saying that I don't believe in a distinction between "God's people". I understand that as well as the "setting apart" of them. But in this discussion about "questions" I was absolutely dumbfounded that it didn't even occur to this pastor or anyone else that perhaps that was the WRONG question to ask. I mean, really, do you really want to talk about how God loves some people but not other people? Was that the "message from God" for today?

It didn't even occur to him that perhaps the better question to ask instead of 'Does God love believers MORE than He does unbelivers?' but rather would have been better to ask 'How does God want me to love both believers AND unbelievers?' That would have been a question God would answer. I mean, how many times did Jesus NOT answer a stupid question? SO MANY times! Why? Because people asked the wrong question.

But no. Instead of reframing the question, he stayed on that direction to go on and on about God's sovereignty to love whomever He chooses and to NOT love whomever He chooses. Why, did this pastor say? So that the ones He chooses to love could FULLY APPRECIATE the love. So that the ones He chooses to love could see the contrast. Seriously. He spoke about an exclusive love. No empathy or compassion for those outside of God's love. Just that those whom God chooses to love should appreciate being chosen.

I also wondered why the pastor wasn't coming up to me to shake my hand or welcome me during the entire service - particularly since there was literally 12 people in the room and there was a 'say hello to your neighbor' time and also two times where everyone broke up into tiny groups to discuss stuff. There were times when he could have said hello. I wondered if he recognized me because we had met once or twice YEARS ago while I was with that faith-based non-profit that I co-founded. But maybe he didn't recognize me. Yet still he chose not to greet or welcome the obvious ONLY newcomer.

At the close of the service, he prayed a prayer of just accepting truth in faith. Um, the truth that HE just presented? Without question? Without doubt? The prayer was to accept it even when it was hard to accept. His answers. His truth. His interpretation. His worldview. I seriously thought this, but during the prayer it really felt like it was a brainwashing. But this wasn't a cult out in some remote ranch. This was a church just like most in the city.

So then after the service when everything was done and over with, he walked up to me saying my name, 'Eric, you remember we met before.' And I was completely friendly and saying that it was good to see him and he asked a couple probing questions about what I was doing now. I told him about Catalyst Community and I told him about the Green Long Beach! Festival and that some from his church were having a booth and selling T-shirts. I told him about some of the good things we're doing in the community. I didn't say anything gay-related.

He wasn't interested in what I was doing now though. He wanted to probe because he had thought I was a pastor. I told him that I encouraged some communities of gay Christians to feel supported because there are so many that want to worship but are being rejected out of their own congregations. But no I said I wasn't a pastor. And in that context of conversation, he began to say what he really wanted to say which was that he wanted to make it CLEAR that they were not an "affirming" congregation.

(And in my head, I'm thinking why is this relevant? I didn't bring up the gay thing, he did. And if he didn't know me before this, he wouldn't have even known that I was gay.)

Really? I'm here visiting your church and was actually looking for a place to start going to regularly and the welcome sales pitch is to make it CLEAR that they were not a place that thinks "gay" is okay. Really? And after me telling you that there are SO MANY CHRISTIANS who are gay that WANT TO WORSHIP JESUS but are being REJECTED out of their OWN CONGREGATIONS, you feel it necessary to talk about the gay pride parade and how there are churches in the parade that are affirming of "the lifestyle" and there are churches on the side that are holding picket signs and yelling "burn," and you want to tell me that your church represents "neither" but that you want to make it CLEAR that "we are not affirming"? Really? That's what you want to tell me?

And after saying these things to me, he started saying with a smile, "That's my main concern. I wanted to make that clear." After he said that a couple times, I thought it was odd. It seemed out of context. So I inquired, "wait, sooooo, what's your CONCERN?" I asked genuinely with a 'I don't get it' tone. I wasn't saying anything about anything gay regarding me and this congregation. And he said, "well the festival. If we're going to have a booth, I wanted to make it CLEAR that we're not affirming." So I was like, "but the festival is a GREEN festival. You know, GREEN as in, the environment? The festival is about encouraging people about sustainability and how to use energy efficiently and to talk about recycling." And he was like, "oh."

"Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy." Ezekiel 16:49

Who's the Sodomite?

So now as I think back to the lack of welcome and the lack of eye contact and the messages that God loves the believer and NOT the unbeliever and the closing prayer to accept the truth and the intentional effort to make it CLEAR (his words) that they were not an affirming church . . . . I get the sense that it was all because he did recognize me right from the beginning. Remember, there were only 12 people present. I was clearly the newcomer.

After he realized that I was helping to organize logistics for a GREEN festival, he said his goodbyes to me, stepped back and away to assemble his post-church service meeting (which was actually a debrief of their 'outreach project').

I said my friendly goodbyes to the folks I met, started shaking my head and wiped my feet at the front door as I LEFT them.

What a freakin' arrogant hypocrite.

So I drove home just pissed and angry and mad at how disrespectful he was but with a smile. I'm SURE he has NO CLUE as to how offensive he was. And I'm SURE he has NO CLUE as to how he hurt me and his own witness.

By the time I got home, still mad, the first thing I saw when I turned on the television was the ending speech from Sigourney Weaver in "Prayers For Bobby" (see below) and by the time she hugged her son/that kid at the side of the parade I was literally balling my eyes out just crying like really really heavy tears.

I mean, seriously, why can't I just go to a church service with other people that love Jesus and not leave feeling worse than I did when I arrived? (And no, maybe I don't want to always go to a church where the congregation are mostly gay.)

As far as I've gone on this journey, I'm still surprised at how this still affects me the way it does. I still take it very personally, the Church's rejection of gay people, because my own story of suicide is very real and relevant to me. And I was the one who gave THEM a chance. I freakin' allowed myself, yet one more time, to go into a place knowing that these freakin' Christians might freakin' hurt me freakin' again. AGAIN! It still affects me profoundly and as strong as I think I am, they still freakin' make me cry every time.

Damn it.




Break the cycle of hurt. Go to www.TwoWorldCollision.com.

Sock Me in the Stomach Three More Times

How to Deal with Unrequited Love



The Space Goes Down
by Goodbye Elliott

the space goes down…
sock me in the stomach three more times.
then ride with me into the sun,
forget your plans,
and forget you already have someone

cause grace bestows the morning light,
upon the grace of those who choose,
to live a life, with absolutely nothing to lose.

so sock me in the stomach three more times,
sock me in the stomach three more times,
then walk away and forget, forget, and act just fine.

i think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
i think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
and forget, and forget, and forget (i lost you)

so take your ideas of autumn in california,
and leave me with my hopes of what could’ve, should’ve happened,
and don’t care about my dreams
cause nothing is ever what it seems,

so eat your words and drink your lines,
and toast to love and all the good times,
and bless the chase that brought out the best in you,
but the worst in me,
the best in you,
and a few good songs.

then you sock me in the stomach three more times,
you sock me in the stomach three more times,
and walk away and forget, and forget, then act just fine.

i think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
think that i'm gonna head for the ocean,
and forget, and forget, and forget

cause i don’t want to ruin what you have,
if you're happy that's the plan,
so i guess it comes to you never knowing
how in love with you i am,
and i don’t want to ruin what you have,
cause if you're happy that's the plan,
so i guess it comes to you never knowing
how completely in love i am,

so take your ideas of autumn in california,
and leave me with my hopes of what could’ve, should’ve happened,
and don’t care about my dreams
no nothing is ever what it seems,

I read it. I said it. I stole my momma’s credit. Yeah I’m cool. I’m hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times.

lyrics

Approaching Relationships With Intentionality

These are some of my friends. I love them.

They are unique and diverse, all full of talents and skills, beautiful both inside and out. This photo represents only a snapshot into several of my various communities of friends. People in this photo are young and old, male and female and transgender, single and coupled, latino, black, white, asian, pacific islander, gay, lesbian, bisexual, straight, doctor, college grads, students, high school grads, multi-lingual, ESL, and of varying faith backgrounds. We are quite a hodge podge of diverse friends!

We were all gathered last night for dinner, celebrating my birthday. And so I took the opportunity to share my heart with them. (Keep reading further in this post to watch the video of that talk!)

There's been a lot going on in California lately and I've been excited to be a part of it with many of my friends. Many of us have been part of rallies, marches, phone banks, and volunteers to oppose the passing of Prop 8. It's personal for us because it's OUR rights that have been taken away from us or it's our LOVED ONES rights that have been taken away from them.

I've said before that I consider myself more of a relational catalyst than a political activist. The difference? In my view, a relational catalyst takes an organic approach to building bridges within a community by inspiring the development of meaningful relationships for the purpose of building a relational infrastructure within that community. In my view, a political activist takes a grassroots community organizing approach to rallying and mobilizing a community around a worthwhile cause.

I believe that both are essential to shifting our culture . . . .

The political activists and organizers work to affect the "power structures" that govern law and religion while using a unified arm of people to build national awareness and support and to confront opposition. The relational catalysts work to affect the "people structures" that comprise our communities, neighborhoods, and families while developing tangible relationships and connections between individuals across a region. Both kinds of people, the activists and the catalysts, work in tandem to shift paradigms, hearts, and attitudes. A person might be one or the other or both! And when we experience the collision of world views as we've seen between those who believe all people, gay and straight, have the equal right to marry versus those who believe that only straight people have the right to use the term marriage, the resulting clash brings intense hurt and anger - and in many cases irrationality.

As we're seeing the Marriage Equality Movement advancing forward to draw national attention, catalyzed by the passing of Prop 8 eliminating the rights of California's citizens, we are without a doubt witnessing history being written before our very eyes. In the past, we had the benefit of hindsight and history to teach us what sacrifices and advances had been made before us. However, as witnesses to current events, we have the unique opportunity of helping to shape the outcome.

In 2000, a similar initiative in California (Prop 22) banning same-sex marriage was approved and passed with 61% to 39%. Now, 8 years later Prop 8 passes barely with 52% to 48%. That's a huge indication of the shifting views in California culture - along with the mobilizing capabilities of organizers and advocates and allies. There are more and more people who are supporting equal rights for all people. The interesting thing to note is that seeing as how straight people are the majority, that means statistically most of that 48% who voted against Prop 8 were straight. There are millions of straight people who support us. The work of political activists and of relational catalysts, together, can help tip the scale in favor of equality the next time the public is asked to vote.

It does take some intentionality.

Right now, there are efforts to organize across the country to demonstrate peacefully against discrimination. You can be a part of it by passing the word along, going to rallies, marches and events, signing petitions, writing to elected officials, and speaking out to let your voice be heard.

But as a relational catalyst, what can you do?

Yesterday was my birthday and to celebrate I invited friends from several social circles that I'm connected with for a dinner at a restaurant. So I took the opportunity to share with them what I call the "Fabulous 5" things that they can do to approach their friendships with intentionality by being a relational catalyst. Here's the video of that talk:



The "Fabulous 5" to Being a Relational Catalyst:

1. Invest in 5 people not like you - build relationships with people who are different than you so that you can mutually learn from each other, hear each others stories, and begin to empathize with each others experiences.

2. Participate in neighborly service - identify a need that your neighbor has and serve that need by helping to fill it. You can also volunteer with community organizations. Mow your neighbor's lawn. Prepare a meal for an elderly or pregnant neighbor. Help pick up trash at the beach. Help build a home. This will help people to see that we are nothing to be afraid of. Rather, we are their fellow neighbors that can support them when they are in need.

3. Partner with other people who share your passion - find others who care about what you care about, then collaborate together to make a difference! Do you care about Marriage Equality, cancer, Substance abuse among teenagers, suicide prevention, HIV/AIDS prevention & education, or some other cause? I believe that we can do more together than we can separate. So find those who share your passion or cause and do it together.

4. Facilitate introductions - provide opportunities to introduce the new people that you are meeting with your broader group of friends. Let them connect with each other. Host a dinner party, plan an outdoors event, get a group of people together for a movie or a show.

5. Cast vision - speak into the relationships in your life and inspire people with a vision of community, collaboration and citizenship. Show people how they can connect with the people in their world and how they can affect their community together. Inspire them to be a relational catalyst.

The "Fabulous 5" are things that you can do over the next year to approach your friendships with intentionality and to help build a relational infrastructure throughout our community. Not only do we gain meaningful relationships, but when it comes time for the activists to call on us to mobilize, there will be more of us (catalysts and our relationships) in the community who can respond.

www.GoCatalyst.org

Are you on Facebook and haven't added me as a friend yet? Add me here!

Say It's Possible

I've been hoping to feel safe enough to blog again. I know, it's been too long. Until then, there's Jay Brannan singing a cover of Terra Naomi's "Say It's Possible". I actually like Jay's version better though because his emotion matches how I feel and he sounds absolutely beautiful! Plus, Jay is shirtless. :p But you should also check out Terra's official video of the song here.

Here's Jay on my behalf:



"Say It's Possible" by Terra Naomi

I SEE THE LIGHTS ARE TURNING
AND I LOOK OUTSIDE THE STARS ARE BURNING
THROUGH THIS CHANGING TIME
IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANYTHING WE WANT
IT'S FINE SALVATION WAS JUST A PASSING THOUGHT.

DON'T WAIT ACT NOW
THIS AMAZING OFFER WON'T LAST LONG
IT'S ONLY A CHANCE TO PAVE THE PATH WE'RE ON
I KNOW THERE ARE MORE EXCITING THINGS TO TALK ABOUT
AND IN TIME WE'LL SORT IT OUT

AND THOUGH THEY SAY IT'S POSSIBLE TO ME
I DON'T SEE HOW IT'S PROBABLE
I SEE THE COURSE WE'RE ON
SPINNING FARTHER FROM WHAT I KNOW
I'LL HOLD ON
TELL ME THAT YOU WON'T LET GO
TELL ME THAT YOU WON'T LET GO

AND TRUTH IS SUCH A FUNNY THING
WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE
KEEP ON TELLING ME
THEY KNOW WHAT'S BEST
AND WHAT TO BE FRIGHTENED OF
AND ALL THE REST ARE WRONG
THEY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT US

AND THOUGH THEY SAY IT'S POSSIBLE TO ME
I DON'T SEE HOW IT'S PROBABLE
I SEE THE COURSE WE'RE ON
SPINNING FARTHER FROM WHAT I KNOW
I'LL HOLD ON
TELL ME THAT YOU WON'T LET GO
TELL ME THAT YOU WON'T LET GO

I'M NOT ALRIGHT....
I'M NOT ALRIGHT....
I'M NOT ALRIGHT....

THIS COULD BE SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL
COMBINE OUR LOVE INTO SOMETHING WONDERFUL
BUT TIMES ARE TOUGH I KNOW
AND THE PULL OF WHAT WE CAN'T GIVE UP TAKES HOLD

(c) Terra Naomi 2006

Rise Above This

"Rise Above This" by Seether

Take the light, undarken everything around me
Call the clowns and listen closely, i'm lost without you
Call your name every day when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down but i'll rise above this, rise above this

Hate the mind, regrets are better left unspoken
For all we know, this void will grow and
Everything's in vain, distressing you though it leaves me open
Feels so right, but i'll end this all before it gets me

Call your name every day, when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Call your name every day, when i seem so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this doubt

I'll mend myself before it gets me
(i'll mend myself before it gets me)
I'll mend myself before it gets me
(i'll mend myself before it gets me)

Call your name every day, when i feel so helpless
I'm fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Forty eight ways to say that i'm feelin' helpless
Fallin' down, but i'll rise above this, rise above this
Rise above this, rise above this doubt

Side X Culture

This is the fourth video segment of my four part Survivor series telling my story of growing up gay, becoming Christian, struggling with same sex attractions, and reconciling the conflict between my faith and my sexuality. Daniel Gonzales of Box Turtle Bulletin (and in partnership with Beyond Ex-Gay) recorded, created and edited the video (creative commons license).

To supplement this video, also read "Sankofa (Part 3)" and also "Side X Culture and a Vision for an Inclusive Community."

Have you missed previous segments? Be sure to check out:

Part 1: Suicide and the Porcelain Punisher.
Part 2: The Ex-Gay Program.
Part 3: Isolation and Exclusion.

And now watch, Part 4: Side X Culture:

Isolation and Exclusion

This is the third video segment of my four part Survivor series telling my story of growing up gay, becoming Christian, struggling with same sex attractions, and reconciling the conflict between my faith and my sexuality. Daniel Gonzales of Box Turtle Bulletin (and in partnership with Beyond Ex-Gay) recorded, created and edited the video (creative commons license).

To supplement this video, read "Community of Profound Loneliness".

Have you missed previous segments? Be sure to check out:

Part 1: Suicide and the Porcelain Punisher.
Part 2: The Ex-Gay Program.
Part 4: Side X Culture.

And now watch, Part 3: Isolation and Exclusion:

The Ex-Gay Program

This is the second video segment of my four part Survivor series telling my story of growing up gay, becoming Christian, struggling with same sex attractions, and reconciling the conflict between my faith and my sexuality. Daniel Gonzales of Box Turtle Bulletin (and in partnership with Beyond Ex-Gay) recorded, created and edited the video (creative commons license).

To supplement this video, also read my "Ex-Gay Survivor Story".

Have you missed previous segments? Be sure to check out:

Part 1: Suicide and the Porcelain Punisher.
Part 3: Isolation and Exclusion.
Part 4: Side X Culture.

And now watch, Part 2: The Ex-Gay Program:

Suicide and The Porcelain Punisher

This is the first video segment of my four part Survivor series telling my story of growing up gay, becoming Christian, struggling with same sex attractions, and reconciling the conflict between my faith and my sexuality. Daniel Gonzales of Box Turtle Bulletin (and in partnership with Beyond Ex-Gay) recorded, created and edited the video (creative commons license).

To supplement this video, you can also read "Sankofa (Part 1)".

Here are the other segments of the video series:

Part 2: The Ex-Gay Program.
Part 3: Isolation and Exclusion.
Part 4: Side X Culture.

And now watch, Part 1: Suicide and The Porcelain Punisher:

That's How You Know

I enjoyed dinner at a cool vegan restaurant called Leaf Cuisine last night with my friend Peterson who was passing through LA from Portland on his way back home to Connecticut. He inspires me! It's been an absolutely full and crazy and fun and challenging and discouraging and encouraging 30 days for me and so I appreciate his friendship because he rejuvenates my sense of purpose and is a model for what can be and what should be done in this world.

Seeing as how it's been exactly one month (and a day) since my last post, and also since Peterson gave me an East coast kick in the arse as I dropped him off at the airport to just write SOMETHING . . . . you can blame him for this one!

I saw Enchanted a few weeks ago (which by the way, a good friend of mine who is a Disney photo shoot producer did promo stuff on this movie) and I have to admit that I really liked the movie! Yeah, it's cheesy but I am absolutely a romantic. Plus I like how they balanced out both concepts of believing in Love and also taking the time to get to know a person - dating. One of the hottest things to me is a guy who takes the initiative in expressing how he feels. =P

I laugh at myself every time I listen to this song because I actually really like it! And given the crazy last 30 days I've had, this song brings me up every time! Enjoy!

Re-Living the First Day

[Scroll down for video and lyrics for "The First Single" by The Format and also "Big Casino" by Jimmy Eat World.]

Today marks the 6 year anniversary of the day I hit rock bottom. It was a day that I made the biggest mistake of my life. It was a day that shifted the direction of my life. It was a day I wished that I could end my life.

I had many choices - each had consequences and repercussions that would have affected everyone I loved. This was the first day of my journey. It was when my two worlds collided.

How do I move on from regret? How do I alleviate the hurt in others that I've inflicted? How do I stop the memories and the flashbacks and the nightmares? How do I survive the fallout of my own mistakes?

The past is an anchor for me. There are times when . . . .the weight is less of a burden. There are other times when it's overwhelming. The November/December season has always been difficult for me because of 2001. And while I don't know if I'll ever get to a point of sharing that part of my story with you, I can say that I am intimately familiar with God's grace and restoration. I've had God's forgiveness for six years but I'm not so sure how long I've had my own forgiveness.

The amazing thing for me now is being able to not live in that place any more. Redemption. When God restores, He goes all out in the feast and celebration and robe and ring. A part of me feels like I shouldn't be able to move on - that should be part of my consequences and it should be a lifetime imprisonment of regret. I almost feel guilty for having hope. I almost feel guilty for being free.

But I have been set free. I have to remind myself of that because I go through incredible depression during this season, emotionally re-enacting those events. Six years ago, the Lord and I had a four month conversation.

It was in November and December when it began in Psalm 38, some of which articulated what had been happening at the time:

"O Lord, do not rebuke me in Your anger or discipline me in Your wrath. For Your arrows have pierced me, and Your hand has come down upon me. Because of Your wrath there is no health in my body; my bones have no soundness because of my sin.

My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear. My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sinful folly. I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning. My back is filled with searing pain; there is no health in my body. I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart. All my longings lie open before You, O Lord; my sighing is not hidden from You. My heart pounds, my strength fails me; even the light has gone from my eyes.

My friends and companions avoid me because of my wounds; my neighbors stay far away. . . . . For I am about to fall, and my pain is ever with me. I confess my iniquity; I am troubled by my sin." (Psalm 38:1-11, 17-18)

I remember experiencing the full conviction of God. Then I asked the Lord to lift His hand from me:

"Remove Your scourge from me; I am overcome by the blow of Your hand. You rebuke and discipline men for their sin; You consume their wealth like a moth - each man is but a breath. Hear my prayer, O Lord, listen to my cry for help; be not deaf to my weeping. For I dwell with You as an alien, a stranger, as all my fathers were. Look away from me, that I may rejoice again before I depart and am no more." (Psalm 39: 10-13)

And that's what I did. I pleaded with Him that His discipline would utterly destroy me unless He lifted His hand. So He gave me a pardon. That didn't mean a release from the consequences. It meant that Dad's spanking was done and the restoration was to begin.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord." (Psalm 40:1-3)

In hindsight I can see that God was telling me the future. Not only did He lift me out of that dark and unstable place but He cleaned me up and set me on solid ground with a new message. The cleaning up part took a process of several months and years. I'm still being cleaned up. The solid ground, I discovered, was not only Himself (of which would be the only real stable footing I could have), but it was also a new land - a new place where He was calling me to. Long Beach, California. And that new message, that new song in my mouth? It's the message of authenticity that has the Kingdom message deeply embedded in it.

"I've been waiting all this time to be something I can't define." - The Format in "The First Single"

As difficult as November and December is and can be - depression and flashbacks and all - I live out the fact that He's still not done with me yet. In fact, it's still just the beginning. I was thinking about a lyric by Jimmy Eat World for a song called "Big Casino" that says, "There's still some living left when your prime comes and goes." The thing is - even with everything that has happened (both amazing and tragic), I've still not reached my prime. God has given me vision for things that still have not yet been articulated or realized. The hope is that there is plenty of living left.

I still have hard times. Difficult depression. It's not easy to move on from the regrets that anchor me. But I have and I am moving on. I deserve to move on. I can't change the past. In fact, if I did it may alter the person I am now. I can only move forward with humility trusting that it's okay to do so.

In light of today and this Nov/Dec season, I wanted to share with you two songs that have resonated with me:

"The First Single" by The Format



I can't stand to think about
A heart so big it hurts like hell
Oh my God I gave my best
But for three whole years to end like this

Well do you want to fall apart
I can't stop if you cant start
Do you want to fall apart
I could if you can try to fix what I've undone
Cause I hate what I've become

You know me,
Oh you think you do, you just don't seem to see
I've been waiting all this time to be
Something I can't define so let's
Cause a scene
Clap our hands and stomp our feet or something
Yeah something
I've just got to get myself over me

I could stand to do without
All the people I have left behind
Whats the point in going around
When it's a straight line baby, a straight line down

So lets make a list of who we need
And its not much, if anything
Lets make a list of who we need
And we'll throw it away cause we don't need anyone
No we don't need anyone

You know me,
Oh you think you do, you just don't seem to see
I've been waiting all this time to be
Something I can't define so let's
Cause a scene
Clap our hands and stomp our feet or something
Yeah something
I've just got to get myself over me
And I hate what I've become...

You know the night life is just not for me
Cause all you really need are a few good friends
I don't want to go out and be on my own
You know they started something I can't stand

You leave for the city, well count me out
'Cause all this time is wasted on
Well, everything I've done

You know me,
Oh you think you do, you just don't seem to see
I've been waiting all this time to be
Something I can't define so let's
Cause a scene
Clap our hands and stomp our feet or something
Yeah something
I've just got to get myself over me
You know me,
Oh you think you do, you just don't seem to see
I've been waiting all this time to be something I can't define
So let's cause a scene
Clap our hands and stomp our feet or something
Yeah something
I've just got to get myself over me, yeh, over me, yeh, over me


"Big Casino" by Jimmy Eat World



Before this world starts up again
It's me and night
We wait for the sun
The kids and drunks head back inside

Well there's lots of smart ideas in books I've never read
When the girls come talk to me I wish to hell I had

(Get Up, Get Up) Turn on ignition
(Get Up, Get Up) Fire up the system
Play my little part in something big

I'll accept with poise, with grace
When they draw my name from the lottery
And they'll say 'All the salt in the world couldn't melt that ice'
I'm the one who gets away
I'm a New Jersey success-story
And they'll say 'Lord, give me a chance to shake that hand'
(They'll say)

Back when I was younger I was someone you'd've liked
Got an old guitar I'd had for years I'd let you buy
And I'll tell you something else that you ain't dying enough to know
There's still some living left when your prime comes and goes

(Get Up, Get Up) Dance on the ceiling
(Get Up, Get Up) Boy, you must be dreamin'
Rock on young saviour, don't give up your hopes

I'll accept with poise, with grace
When they draw my name from the lottery
And they'll say 'All the salt in the world couldn't melt that ice'
I'm the one who gets away
I'm a New Jersey success-story
And they'll say 'Lord, give me a chance to shake that hand'

I have one last wish
And it's from my heart
Just let me down
Just let me down
(easy)

I'll accept with poise, with grace
When they draw my name from the lottery
And they'll say 'All the salt in the world couldn't melt that ice'
I'm the one who gets away
I'm a New Jersey success-story
And they'll say 'Lord, give me a chance to shake his hand'
(They'll say)

Across the Universe

There's a movie you have got to see. I don't care what the critics say in their reviews. They never like the movies I appreciate anyway.

I saw it a couple days ago with a friend and I loved it for so many reasons. I hadn't realized that it was a musical until I was told less than an hour before watching the movie. (I remember watching Rent for the first time not realizing that it was a musical. I know, don't take away my gay card but I had no idea - I had never heard of it before but I loved Rent! Remember this one?)

Knowing that it was a musical prepared me for the frequent breaking out in song and dance but I was very pleased to realize that these songs were all Beatles songs! The characters, Jude and Max, in the movie are adorable eye candy and the actors that play them, Jim Sturgess and Joe Anderson, sing beautifully. I downloaded the soundtrack from iTunes and I'm loving it!

Across the Universe.

I loved this movie because its about the journey - of finding love, of finding adventure, of finding success, of finding peace, of finding friends, of finding purpose - a cause worth fighting for. What is it that we are looking for on this journey of ours? For some of us, it's reconciling our faith and sexuality. For others of us, it's finding redemption. And yet for others of us, it's finding community or companionship.

We're all on a similar journey. But we all have a different cause - a different passion of which to root the purpose of our lives. Some take up their cross. Some take up their flag. Some take up their paint brush. In our own way, we can change our world.

Just do what you do.

I'd say for me, on this journey of mine, I'm looking for me. Who am I? Who is this person that God loves? Who is that guy in the mirror and can he love (himself and others) like God does? My journey across the universe is of finding my sense of authenticity. If I can discover me, then I can help others discover themselves - authentically. And so if we can begin to know and be ourselves, then we can begin to know and understand each other, and at the same time we can begin to know and understand our God. Perhaps, then, we can begin to love our God, love each other, and love ourselves better.

This is my journey, my cause - and, to me, it's one worth fighting for.



I love this one:

Road Trip Destination: Louisville, Kentucky

We spent the weekend in Louisville, KY and met up with Jason, a fellow GCN'er from Northern Kentucky. He took the grey hound bus to meet up and spent the weekend with us. We arrived on Friday, Aug. 24th late afternoon and left the morning of Monday, Aug. 27th.

Seeing Louisville was fun but the main reason we planned this whole road trip was because our friend Becky (from Michigan) was competing in the Ironman competition. So much of our time was geared around that. But we also got to connect with some awesome GCN'ers in the area . . . .

Once we got into town and picked up Jason at the bus station, we got our hotel and then made our way to the Kentucky State Fair. It was fun to see local Kentuckyans in their native habitat (haha, okay not really but sort of) as we walked around booths and games and rides and horses and pick up trucks and national guard vehicles and men in military fatigues (purr...) and country music bands and such. The main draw for us was that Switchfoot was having a concert there. It sure was hot and humid in the outdoor stadium but it was fun.

Switchfoot has always been a favorite band of mine. I had been listening to Contemporary Christian Music (CCM) for more than a decade and so naturally I was drawn to Jon Foreman and the boys. His lyrics have always moved me! But I stopped listening to CCM at around 2001 when my paradigm of "Church" started changing. As I began to live more of an organic lifestyle of faith and started building friendships with people outside of the "church-culture" bubble, my music interests have been more in the genres of pop/rock/alternative - you know, the kind of music everyone else listens to. That may sound terrible to some but I found myself to be completely irrelevant and unrelatable to people who didn't identify as Christians when I was listening to solely "Christian music". What makes something "Christian music" anyway? I've experienced God move me incredibly through songs not thought of to be Christian. But I'm a Christian and I receive a song as a Christian so doesn't that make it Christian music to me? Anyway, I could rant right now, but i'll save it for later. Nevertheless, it was good to hear many of my favorite Switchfoot songs again, plus some new ones!

I will always love their song "This is your life". It touches me because I know what it's like to see my life go down hill. I saw God rebuild what I had torn down during my rock-bottom year of 2001 and the restorative years of 2002-2005. I've made reference to this season of my life in previous posts but i'm still not ready to blog about it yet. I found an awesome video that someone made with this song though. It doesn't tell my story (at all) but it does paint a moving picture of a man who's journey leads to God. Check it out here:



So I found myself flashing back to past memories, mistakes and regrets during the concert. But I did enjoy the concert! After the concert, we walked around the fairgrounds and listened to a couple of country music bands and even a heavy metal rock band. There were some interesting fair rides that I've never seen before either. Gosh, I don't remember amusement park attractions being so . . . . death-defyingly dangerous! Whew! No, we didn't try any. But these here Kentuckyans really know how to have a fair!

The next day, I had an early start thanks to good ole BeckyO. She lives in the states but it's like her internal clock is set to UK time. Our hotel room was right next to hers so since we didn't get to see each other when we arrived before the Fair & Concert, she decided to knock on our door at an ungodly hour I don't even remember right now (but i think the sun was still sleeping). We silently screamed and gave each other huge hugs like old girlfriends who hadn't seen each other in months (that's true actually). Last I saw Becky was when she was in SoCal several months ago. She is soooo moving to Long Beach. But anyway, we spent some time in her room (with her awesome Michigan friend/room mate who was also rooming with her in the hotel) then we eventually went downstairs for the groddy (that's worse that gross) breakfast waffles. Yeah, I went downstairs of the hotel with morning hair and morning breath wearing unflattering bedtime clothes just to hang out with Becky and to meet her friends and family. Only for Becky!

Afterwards, we had brunch then went to Ironman village to see Becky check in her bike. It was awesome to see so many triathletes. I noticed that they've all got something in common. Yes, they all have hot bods but that's not what I was going to say. They all have that sense of determination in their eyes. Focus. It was amazing. And yeah, the bods were too. Apparently the guy from the Bachelor was there. I don't watch the show so I wouldn't have recognized him. But I did get a couple photos of him though! You'll have to look at the Facebook album (link below) to see some. *grin*

But anyway, Becky couldn't hang out with us too much because she had to prep for the triathlon. I totally understood because that is a crazy yet incredible feat! She was going to swim for 2 miles, then bike for 112 miles, then run for 26.2 miles. C-R-A-Z-I-N-E-S-S!!!

So understandably, she couldn't join us for dinner as we met up with some other GCN'ers in the area. We met up at Wick's Pizza (which will be discussed in the "Pizza Wars" post. Actually, Michael will be my first Two World Collision guest co-blogger for that after our vacation. He'll write up his pizza reviews along with mine! So stayed tuned for that!). It was tons of fun meeting up with a couple other GCN'ers in this area. It's always good to share stories with people who have some kind of common thread. We're all on a similar journey so we should always try to connect so that we know that we're not alone in this walk of ours.

After dinner, we all went to Graeters for ice cream. Michael and I had never been there before - in fact, i don't think there are any of these in SoCal (that I know of). It was good stuff. We hung out for awhile and met up with a couple others. Then those of us who could stay later went to a magic show happening on Bellarmine University's campus. David is an awesome guy (and local GCN'er here) who is a student and also works there so he invited us to check it out. It was more like a comedy show because it was funny with a few kewl tricks. Plus, he was sooo gay! I could tell. That's not an insult just an observation that made the experience all the more fun and hilarious (because he was making comments to/about the girls as if he were straight). After the show, we went to a pretty kewl (and I suppose popular) music store called Ear X-tacy. That was fun. Then we decided to check out some more Louisville night life so we went to a dance club called "Connections". It was actually pretty fun! And it was definitely more lively than our experience at the club in St. Louis. Granted that was a weekday in St. Louis and this was a Saturday night in Louisville but still - it was alot of fun. Some of the bartendars in Louisville were noticeably friendlier than what i've seen before - both in SoCal and in St. Louis. Perhaps it was good ole Southern hospitality. We stayed out dancing and having a good time until close to 4am!

By the time we got back to the hotel, it was 4:10am. Yes, Becky was up and awake getting ready for her triathlon. So rather than going to sleep, Michael and I went with them to Ironman village to see Becky start her race. (Jason stayed behind and caught up on zzz's).

So Michael and I were functioning on zero sleep. Becky and all the other triathletes and all the family and friends were getting ready for the big race. Yeah, it was still dark. The race would last all day and these heros will have tested their bodies to their max. So I can't really complain for being tired. Besides, it was exciting! There were about 2100 triathletes and the whole operation was pretty impressive. By the time the race started, Michael and I secured front row seats.

You want to know how fast Becky is? Everyone was lined up ready to jump off the dock one by one. My camera followed Becky as she moved up the line, got to the front, and by the time I snapped the picture, she had already been in the water! So I got her before she jumped but I didn't get a shot of her mid-air jumping into the water. She's quick like that! Actually, swimming is her strongest event. While we were waiting for Becky, I fell asleep standing! I was on the edge of a step and I nodded off and I suddenly grabbed on to the guy next to me. No, he didn't know me. He was startled but since I was half asleep, I couldn't think of what to say so I just kinda mumbled something like, 'oh i'm sorry'. I should have said, 'oh pardon me. I just fell asleep. While standing.' Hehe. And it happened again too! We relocated to where Becky and everyone else would exit the water and while waiting for her, I nodded off several times. There was a different guy standing next to me and I lost count of the number of times that I fell over and bumped into him side ways. It was kinda embarassing but funny as I think back on it. LOL, after Becky came out of the water and I cheered and took my pictures, I announced, 'okay, i can go to sleep now!' He kinda chuckled.

Becky's next event would be the 112 mile bike ride followed by the 26.2 marathon so we knew we'd have some time. We returned to the hotel to sleep for three hours, then we checked out of our room. We eventually got lunch/dinner then found a spot along the road to watch the runners go by. It's funny because we all had a chant prepared and sang for her when Becky went by! It's so amazing to see them go! One guy took a short break next to where I was sitting so that he could change his socks. This was his first triathlon and I asked him what motivated him to do this and he replied, 'Well, it's a mountain.' That was so inspiring! LOL, but he also said that this would probably be his last triathlon.

The really fun part was being at the finish line area. There were crowds of people lined up on both sides as everyone cheered for everyone running, jogging, or walking by. We all clapped, yelled, screamed, cheered, and rang lil cowbells in congratulations as the triathletes crossed the finish line. I found it moving to be a part of someone else's victory. There we were cheering for someone we didn't even know and being genuinely happy for their accomplishment. It was awesome because there were people who were crying as they approached the finish line. Many were even holding hands with family members. These people put their bodies through hell and got to the finish line where hundreds of people were cheering them on. And we contributed to their experience. It's amazing! Can you imagine what a bummer it would be to have silence as you finished? As if it were unnoticed? That would suck! So I cheered the best I could.

Then when Becky came around just after 11:00 PM, I exploded! She had been doing this for literally the entire day and here she was finishing. She had her mom in one hand and her sister in the other hand and together they crossed the finish line. Wow! What a day!

By the time this was all done, it had been a long day and everyone was tired. We met back up with David who let us stay at his (huge) place on campus. Thanks Dave!!! He's got an enormous apartment dorm room all to himself so he let us crash there since we only had our hotel room for two days and we had to check out. He saved us a buck plus it was super fun to hang out with him again more! =)

I can say that Louisville, KY was fun. We may not have been able to see a whole lot of sites and do the whole tourist thing, but that's totally okay. We'll be doing tons of that on our road trip. Really, the whole trip was planned to support Becky and to see her race. It was a pleasure to see her finish! Plus it was extra fun being able to meet her family and friends. And finally, it was really good being able to meet David and Larry and Jason and Pablo - somewhat local GCN'ers in this area. Oh yeah, and the dancing was fun too!

If you'd like to see tons of other pictures of the Louisville leg of our road trip, check them out here in my facebook album!

Next stop - Indianapolis, Indiana (via Cincinnati, Ohio)!

Good Enough

My uncle's funeral will be in several hours. And we're burying him.

The other day I posted about how he got remarried in his seventies. It was actually very sweet the way he chose to allow himself to love again after my aunt (his first wife) passed away. It's inspiring actually.

In love, I suppose the ideal is to accept each other's weaknesses, shortcomings, and imperfections. Love keeps no record of wrongs. To accept him doesn't necessarily mean to blindly pretend like he's perfect. For the guy that I fall in love with, accepting him means to love him anyway.

Over the past few days, I've been frustrated about not feeling good enough in the eyes of people in my life. I think it's probably more accurate to say that I don't feel good enough in my own eyes. When it comes to friends, I can live with being imperfect. But for the guy that I fall in love with, I have incentive to grow and to change - not because I don't think he'll love me if I don't, but rather it is because I know he loves me anyway. He makes me want to be better.

That kinda reminds me of my relationship with Christ.

It also reminds me of Makena's song "Good Enough". Siena and Toast gave me the mp3 of it and gave me permission to use it. Listen to it here:

http://www.catalystlb.org/GoodEnough.mp3

A few weeks ago I saw them perform it here in Long Beach and I posted it on YouTube.



I'm also posting the lyrics of the song below . . . . (click the link below to read the entire post).

GOOD ENOUGH
Copyright 2003 Siena Lee & Toast Tajiri (MAKENA)

You give me all day to study your face
But that ain't still not, that's not enough
I need till midnight, give me a lifetime
To find all the ways that we can touch
Oh my Jesus, but you're the sweetest
Thing in my cup, can I measure up

I wanna be good enough for you
I wanna be the one too good to be true
I wanna be good enough for me
So I can love you like crazy and still feel the peace
Of opening up all of my heart
More than I thought, stronger and soft
I wanna be good enough for us

Said the wrong thing, saw your face dim
Felt my heart shrink up inside
Said I'm sorry, you said it's okay
That everythings gonna be alright
And I know that, still I wish it
Would be okay now, it comes back to how

chorus

Survivors Speak: Daniel and Claire

Hot off the presses! My friends Daniel and Claire, who went to the Ex-Gay Survivor Conference with me two weekends ago (see pics here) and crashed at my place, just had two of their soon to be famous YouTube videos posted.

The first is of their YouTube debut being goofballs and telling a story about their road trip adventures! It's hilarious when you compare it to their second video (more serious) of the interview they did during the conference.

In their interview piece with BeyondExGay.Com and Soulforce, they both share about their experiences of reconciling faith and sexuality, helping others through it, and also the value of meeting others and hearing stories at conferences like these. I'm very impressed with both of them and I'm so proud to call them friends! They present themselves as articulate and the message I love in it is that "we are not alone".

The first video is for laughs. The second video is for tears. I love these guys!

Road Trip Adventures:



Survivors Speak: Daniel and Claire

Island Beauty

At this past Saturday's AIDS Walk Long Beach, I met these two super awesome gals named Siena and Toast - together they sing pop acoustic music and also hawaiian music. They are called Makena. I'm in love with them! They are beautiful and sweet - and also local.

I spent some good time talking with them during one of their breaks. I told them all about Gay Christian Network and Catalyst and Two World Collision. I haven't been back to Hawaii since I last left there after 6th grade. I lived there for pretty much all of my elementary years. It was refreshing to reminisce a lil' about being there!

Anyway, their music is so sweet! Some of their songs are in english, some are in hawaiian, some are both. I'm definitely going to get their CD and maybe check out some of their shows. My favorite song is called "Good Enough".

Be sure to check out their site at http://www.makenamusic.com. You can hear some music samples at http://myspace.com/makenamusic. They also have a podcast at www.GirlMeetsGirlPodcast.com. There, Siena and Toast, two Hawaii girls, talk about being gay, Asian-American, their music, relationship, day to day spirituality, and pursuit of happiness in California. They have giveaways, listener mail, and interviews, too. I'm hoping to interview them for a future Catalyst podcast!

I made a video clip of them doing Sixpense None The Richer's "Kiss Me" this weekend. They gave me permission to post it on YouTube. Check it out!

Karaoke Virgins

Okay, this one is just hilarious. My friends Steve and Jayson did Madonna's "Like a Virgin" on karaoke at a luau birthday party that we were at Saturday night.

I've gotta tell ya - with all the craziness going on the past several months (see post from last Thursday), these two buds have brought true comic relief in my life. I hang out with alot of people, connecting with various groups and different folks and its all fun. But whenever I hang out with Steve and Jayson, it's a guarantee that I will laugh like crazy. These two keep me grounded. These two make sure I don't take life so seriously. I really appreciate their friendship and consider them a true blessing.

For a good time, call Steve and Jayson at 1-900-555-.... *grin*

Hehe, Happy Birthday Jayson!

A Not So Average Brit

I understand being underestimated. I know what it feels like to have somebody take one look at me and be completely unimpressed.

He's young. He's old. He's gay. He's straight-acting. He's Christian. He's filipino. He's asian. He's a techie. He sees a fitness trainer. He's broke. He's stiff. He's a loner. He got his degree from THAT university.

Until, that is, when I begin to function within my element and, to their surprise, I absolutely kick ass! How do you like THEM apples!

I say that humbly, of course.

I was the guy who was picked last for basketball or football. I was the one who never made the cut. Perhaps this is why I love rooting for the underdog.

Behold, Paul Potts, a 36 year old average looking British cell phone salesman doing his rendition of Nessun Dorma in a talent competition that completely changed his world. According to IC Wales, he sang his first opera when he was 28 years old. And now hear him go!

It's not just his singing; it's his story that I find fascinating. Earlier this week, Matt Lauer interviewed William and Harry, the HOT british princes of Wales. But Paul is the Brit that inspires me. He's the hero.

Free Hugs in Santa Barbara

I spent the Memorial Day Weekend with some pals in Santa Barbara, CA and we saw a guy, Jerry Matteo, giving out free hugs as part of the Free Hugs Campaign. I gladly gave him a huge hug and thanked him for what he's doing.

Jerry is a hero!

I thought it was so cool to actually see someone doing it. I first heard about it and posted it in a previous post here.

I've since discovered Free Hugs all over the world:

Free Hugs in Venezuela
Free Hugs in Korea
Free Hugs in Amsterdam
Free Hugs in Tel Aviv
Free Hugs in China
Free Hugs in Italy
Free Hugs in Paris
Free Hugs in Tokyo



And also Free Hugs in Hollywood:



Why not Free Hugs in Long Beach, CA?